Episode 63: Her Left Knee and the Concrete

More knee updates from la Ngoc.

Jog. A harder jog. It still quivers from lunges BUT.

Jog I did, in the middle of the road. Concrete. Cloudy sky. Back and forth countlessly until I was sure that if I didn't stop, my knee would give out.

I smiled too much between the hard breaths. Grinning like a fool. Hoping no car would run me over and spot my bright yellow, cheese-head?? pajama shirt in time to hit the brakes. My polite neighbor staring and waving at me as she got her mail. PSY's and IU's "All You Need is Love" in my ears, pushing me forward. A rhythm to jog harder to. 

"Hey, could we speed it up? Oh god we can?! Could we go faster?... faster? come on left knee...

I trust you." 

A bit faster until I max out and the knee feels the impact enough to register it as pain. But painless. Most of it was painless. And.

Capable. I'm feeling capable again. Gosh, I'm still working my way up to trusting my body, trusting my left knee.

One day. I can sprint again. 

To imagine that day... god. 

<33333 makes my heart beat so fast. To be back to almost 100%. Quads and hams so strong, you'd need a hammer to break me. Which isn't strong enough at all. 

So, new goal: Be strong enough to challenge a car. haaaaaa (i said what i said)

Seriously though. I can't stop thinking about jogging on the road ever since. I never ever want to be injured again but perhaps it's bound to happen. For now, I'm happy that I have all it takes to get back to the me from before.

Wanna go skydiving? Heck yeah. My knees can handle it.

Wanna rock climb? Yup, the knees can handle.

Marathon? Si.

The scars from the surgery are still here. Perhaps for the rest of my life, but I've learned so much. Just some battle scars to remember this past year's growth with. :)

But also remember the amount of big sad :(( 

Thank god for elevators and wheelchairs and ramps thank youuuu

Blessed and obsessed,

Ngoc

P.S. remember to hydrate and poo lots okay? healthy poops :D

P.P.S. Yes, Tonia is pooping healthy poops to those who have asked. ;)

P.P.P.S. Just so grateful to be in a much better space than episode 47. Sometimes, when I think about my slow progress, I remind myself of where I was half a year ago, 10 months ago. 14 months ago. I reread 47 and feel all of that growth. Buddha. The knee is still in the works. This beautiful body of mine is still in the works and I love it every step of the way. Even when it couldn't take any steps at all. To now, when it could. And one day, very big steps, even leaps. ^-^