do i?

do i like you or do i like that you like me?

do i want you or do i want you to want me?

do i like convincing you we could make this last 

while both of us are high off the heat? the adrenaline we both get

from saying things we want the other to believe?

do i want you to fall for me? hard.

am i brave enough to return the favor? 

when this is what i've been wanting

and here you are, exactly and not exactly as i wanted

but good for me

all the same.

"i really like you, Ngoc"

words so simple, so short yet endless

you were nervous, shitless. and rightfully so.

"i might have to wait 6 months for you to feel sure about me too?

that feels like im played with... you know?"

you're right. 

do i want to stick it out? 

am i as sure about you as you are about me?

do i want to stick it out and make myself believe?

wait to see what you see? 

would i be at ease

during our time's entirety?

or do i let you go now,

wistful at how early

or continue what we have, 

all confident that we could be "friends" so innocently?