(Friend Series): My Lucy-Goosey-Goofy-Poofy

Without further ado! 

Today's person is my LUCY-GOOSEY-GOOFY-POOFY. 

You see this picture?

 

Lucy drew it for me, back when this blog was still in the middle stages of coughing up teenage feels. And hey, this blog will continue to barf up teenage emotions. However, it's important that people like Lucy exist. Without her, I would have just held in my internal, emotional mess. That's not good for anyone...  

I'm sure she's reading this. I'm sure a silly but satisfied grin is plastered on her face right now. I'm sure she's going to text me after reading this post about how I do just fine without her when in fact, that is untrue. Lucy, finally. Finally, there's an episode about you.

Lucy encouraged me to write again. She encouraged me to touch a Google Blogger Blog that had stayed empty and quiet ever since I left middle school. She supported me in the ways that she could: through her art. She would doodle me. She would doodle about my blog, even. The proof is up there, haha. And actually, this blog has existed since... my middle school years when Lucy didn't exist in my life yet. Yet, being the silly goose that she is, she managed to CIA stalk the hell out of me and find this blog. In our first year common applications course, she would verbally throw my own silly quotes at my face, accurately reciting bits of my blog that she thought appropriate in the moment.

I found myself shocked that something as dark and deep as my blog was found by someone as pure as my Lucy Goosey. After that, I got back into blogging, finding inspiration to write again. Outside of supporting this blog, Lucy has been a loyal friend to everyone around her. At times when I've felt sad or depressed in front of her, she makes herself available, going above and beyond for me and everyone else she's ever cared for.

She's such a spirited soul, lighting the way anywhere she walks. What's admirable about her is how fearless she is to speak her mind. I can see it now. Her getting into some debate over something with a teacher, and calmly standing her ground. Of course, it's also her to pick her battles. :P Smart gal. haha.

Lucy is a music enthusiast, especially for orchestra pieces. There was a frame of time when she would send me a new piece of music every day, just because I requested. Lucy is a giver. She's a sharer of good stuff. I love her lots for it. <3

I feel like I'm writing a recommendation letter.

HAHA, JOKINGGGG.

Lucy doesn't even need a recommendation letter. One day, just her name and her silly grin are enough to convince ANYone to hire her. Lucy is a world changer. She's a visionary. Sometimes, she just needs a small push just as she has pushed me to continue something I thought I had quit.

She always tries to see the best in people and sometimes, that makes her vulnerable against the worst in people. I hope that... as you're reading this Lucy, that whoever takes advantage of you get what they deserve: a really mean blog post by me, THE NGOC MACHINE.

I'm a monster when I wanna be. ;)

With this all said Lucy, thank you for being you.

You're you. And that's that. And the world needs more of you. I'll say that. <3

Send me more cute stuffs whenever Luceeeey Gooseyyyy,
your ngoc ngoc :P

(Friend Series: Episode 1) My Con -- My Yen -- My Friend for Life

Haha, hi there buddy!

You know, I actually have an updated version of this blog on a Weebly site. 

Here's the site if you're curious, heh: https://ngocloveslife.weebly.com/

And you know what happened? 

I forgot my password. Yup. I'm a dumb butt. I've spent four years in high school and still haven't matured a day, :(.

Goodness, I'm a mess and summer has barely began, ahaha. 

Anywaysss. 

This episode is new and special because it is part of a series about people that have positively affected my life. I just graduated from high school so... recalling those wonderful moments with these people will be a treat for me. :)

Without further ado...

My sister, Yen.

How does one even attempt to do justice to someone as special as one's owns sister?

It's kind of impossible. My goal here is to write something that she would be happy with. :)

Yen is younger than me, by three years. However, our age gap is just something we never notice. It's honestly as if I'm the younger one. Haha. I'm so careless and foolish and I act on my emotions more than my logic. She... Yen is driven by something other. Everyday, she finds the will to exercise, to attend her Thai boxing classes despite how tired she feels at the end of the day. Yen has this incredible amount of inner motivation that gets her through the toughest situations and that inspires me every day (even if hell, I need to seriously exercise more) to become a more motivated person. 

Funny story. When I was 5 years old and Yen was 2, I was FED UP with how my parents got to call my little sister "con" and I couldn't. Context here but the word "con," in Vietnamese means "child" in a loving way... haha. Anyways, I got so mad that I felt rebellious that day and announced in my loudest little kid voice, "FROM NOW ON, I WILL CALL YEN 'CON'!" And... today I still do. She even considers herself my child, hahaha, because she really is my child, in a lot of ways. :P

Yen's my child when she comes up for cuddles. Every night, it's a tuck-in routine. "Come and hug meeeee," she'd say with open arms and puppy dog eyes. The high school kid she-devil would look so adorable that I'd give in. You're probably thinking, "that's hella weird." It is but is it really? 

People would comment about how rare it is to see sisters be so close. Perhaps that's true for other sister relationships, but I'm glad that what Yen and I have is an exception. I can't imagine anyone else in the world who I would love to share sushi with more, watch a Disney princess movie with, karaoke Vietnamese break-up ballads with, or just sit somewhere and talk with. 

She has a globe full of knowledge within her even if she doesn't consider herself "book smart." Like, honestly, she's an expert on most things related to martial arts. Heck, this girl is a boxer/wrestler. She is SO FREAKIN POWERFUL. BUT GUESS WHO WINS WE ACTUALLY WRESTLE? (me :P) 

On top of all this cake, she's easily one of the most outgoing, loving, and giving people I know. If she considers you to be special, then she will go out of her comfort zone, out of her way, to spend time with you. She makes time for the people she loves. She makes time for me, all the time. And oof... being the fool and jerk and bih that I am, I do not prioritize her or her time as often as I should... yooo but I'm still working on it. Yeah. I just hope that I get better at it enough that she'll be happy with me. heh. 

*sigh* 

There really is so much I can say about this girl. BECAUSE I LIVE WITH HER DUH. Yo, I even sleep with her. She's just so freaking adorable and cuddly and squishy. She's like a squishy pillow with a cute little fat round face to do lots of squishy things with. <3 she's the absolute cutest. <3 

And, the kindest. The kindest soul you'll ever meet. Giving in all the ways that you can imagine. She has taught me so many life lessons and one of them, one of the most importannt ones is... making time for those you love. And today, in this small corner of the world, I made a bit of time to write about this girl. About Yen. About my con. 

againnnnn there is just sooo much I can say about her. However, as I move onto the next chapter of my life pretty soon, college, I hope that as she's reading this, as YOU'RE reading this Yen, that you always know you're my most favorite person in the world (besides mom of course!). That I'll always love you. And that I'll always (MOST OF THE TIME, NO PROMISES MY HONEY BUN BUNS) make time for you. 

You're the love of my life. <3 You're my friend for life. <3 

From the makers of Nemanji and chubby person full of soft fats,

Ngoc

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 35 - Change and Selfishness

I'm selfish. No secret there.
How do I know? 
To be honest, I've known this since forever.

Only recently has it hit me; my selfish decisions have consequences.

This fall, as you know, I'll be attending a college outside of my home state. This decision means leaving behind my mother, my sister, people I love. A city that I cherish. My childhood home. All the memories and places I've been a part of for the last 18 years... 

It all started when I began developing my college list.

I only looked at out-of-state schools, believing that I would grow into the best version of myself far from home. Believing that the strongest kind of bird is the one that flies farthest from the nest. That was what I believed. Maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. It's too early to know. But that was what drove me to be where I am today: a girl feeling pangs of regret. 

Choosing where to spend my next four years is a gift and a curse. I only thought of myself. I tried to be smart about it... asking questions like... 
"Where would I be happy?"
"Is it pretty there?"
"Will I fit in?" 

Questions that bug and burn me today. Is Smith the right choice? It's too cold. I get sick easily. If I'm sick, no one will make my favorite warm rice porridge in the morning. If I'm cold, no one will be there to put a scarf around my neck. If I'm burning with a fever, no one will be there to put a hand to my forehead and tell me to go back to bed... I won't even be able to celebrate my birthdays with my family anymore. I'm an 18 year old girl. I know I don't sound like one right now... haha.

Hey, I know I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not a special case. I'm not the only one leaving my home. However, this feeling of inevitability makes my heart ache. There's a mix of loneliness and just... gosh the ache. It's going to hurt so much. That's the scary part. Anticipating the pain. 

Of course I'll have my college community to turn to. But my real family is thousands of miles away. My mother who labors every day... my retired father who reminds me to eat every hour... my sister who craves her bedtime stories and hugs. Lots of hugs. I'm going to miss them.

And my city. My home. There are going to be plenty of things to miss...

Of course, being the person I am, I've thought up of a few solutions to my homesickness. However, again, it's too early to know. Lots of things are too early to know... But one thing is for sure, I've just got to get there, go through it all, and learn from my own experiences. Being a first-generation college student, there are many experiences I've yet to understand. Both the good and the bad and the absolutely amazing or the absolutely terrible. 

I'm not ready yet. But.

I'm going to need to be brave. Brave enough to meet new people. Brave enough to start again. Brave enough for new experiences. And possibly, build my own community, my own Smithie family away from family. 

I'll need to have faith in myself. Believing that no matter what, I'm going to make it out alive. I'm going to be okay. Future Ngoc is going to be safe. You're going to be safe too, if you're reading this. We're going to make it. Gosh, it's going to be tough. So tough and sometimes you're going to break a little at the rims. But I promise, we're going to make it somehow. 

You probably don't believe me. And that's okayyyy.

I'm having trouble believing in myself too, haha. 

Hey. The first step to getting over something is fully accepting your reality and your consequences. 

With that said, I think I've already taken the first step. I'm going to be gone for a short while and return as a more wise version of Ngocie-poo. 

Hell, come what may. We're going to be okay. 

BRING IT ONNN

Your girl with lots of love and hope,
Ngoc

Link to a beautiful sad song O___O: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYTJ9YUb6TA

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 34 - Little Changes

The problem with busy schedules is not having enough time for the one person that should matter the most: yourself.

Attending a challenging school for the past four years have thrown my balance off.

Through the piles of work and the lengthy hours...it's difficult to find a way back. It's difficult to find a balance between my own health and my grades. THAT IS SAD.

One evening, as I was knocking out an assignment, I heard my sister calling for me from our bedroom, "Ngoc! Let's meditate!" I was hesitant. Already, in my head, I was weighing out the pros and cons of how a little self-care would affect my schedule. SAD right? The same routine plays itself every Tuesday during homeroom period when yoga class was an open door. I always wanted to do it. So I thought, "wouldn't it be fun if my best friend can join me as well?" She's learned to prioritize her time super well so whenever I invited her along, it was usually a negative.

"Ngoc, I have something I have to do...."

"ah, I understand," I'd reply. And that's the thing; I do understand. *sigh*

It's these little instances in life, when I would realize how much our work can dampen our own personal lives, that hurt me. It'd make me think, "Will I ever find a healthy and sustainable balance between my work and my life?" 

I imagined being 18 to be different, you know?

I thought I'd have my life figured out by now. I thought I'd be hotter. I thought I'd be more confident. I thought many many things. And I believed they would all happen, until they didn't. Until now. haha.

It's not that they didn't happen. It's just feel that I'm not there yet. A part of me fears that I may never get to the place I want to be. 

Maybe it doesn't have to always be this way. Maybe we let this process of putting our own life on hold.... we just let it happen. I've let it happen.

Western new year came and went. Asian Lunar New Year came and went.

I've had two chances to redesign this year, to redesign my life.

Little changes can and have made a difference. 

This year, even if it is mid-February!  x'D

I've promised myself that I'd learn to healthily and sustainably take care of my body and mind.
Why? Because I am the guardian of my own body and the guardian of my own soul. It is up to me to protect myself and make sure that I live and live well.

(also, your girl is gonna go to college so we gotta speed this process UPPPP.)

It it up to me to return to a perhaps wiser version of myself. The girl who called herself the pilot of her own life. The girl that found drops of happiness just by swinging on a hammock in mosquito-filled summers.

So.

Here's my little regimen until the end of February. (we'll need to spice things up for March. :P)

I think that once I write this down, there's no turning back. -_-

- cut down sugar intake (ooof)
- 500 jump-ropes a day
- read a book 20 minutes at least per day
- at least one Blogilates video a day

*sigh*

Little things, am I right?

Tiny steps that add up~ 

I'll meet you at the other side. Let's find our new balance together!

I challenge you to make two or more little positive changes in your life for just two weeks. Maintain it. And celebrate it. Let's.

From giving yourself more time to rest or more time to dance or just hang out with your friends more... anything.

With that said, I part you with this; Cheesy. But. True.

Let's live our lives a little healthier and happier. ^_^