(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 6 - Our Priorities

Hello my little chickens,

It's your girl Ngoc. And yes. You've probably already noticed. Not only have I just called you guys little chickens, but I've also changed the title to "Just Life with Ngoc" because I realized that I'm not exactly teaching you guys anything. x'D Nothing new. I'm just... in a way restating what's already been in fine print from the beginning. So I've modified this blog to better fit my message. Being, just life. So feel free to comment below any topics you'd like me to cover. Appropriate topics that is. Freaking APPROPRIATE. Got it? Got it. Good.

So let's just, talk about life. Specifically for today's episode. Priorities.

Alrighty. Let's put this into context. Imagine yourself say torn between... Actually, none of you need context to understand what I'm getting at here. The context is already playing out in your lives. And you know it. Let's see....

Have you ever faced a dilemma where you feel a battle raging between what your head is screaming and what your heart is fighting for? Have you ever decided on an action that seemed like a good idea at first but turned out to be the worst idea in the history of... like... used old people diapers? Did the decision you make, the one not long ago or decades ago, seem to linger around and mess with your head? Are you sometimes angry at yourself for certain decisions? At the past you. At the present you. And perhaps, at the future you, fearful for the next decision you'll take action for? The next wrong decision that is. *DUN DUN DUNNNN*

Or... none of that has affected you at all which makes you a lucky person then. x'D *DUN DUN DUNNN*

But let me promise you this. Everyone of you, sometime later in your lives will see for yourselves that decisions have consequences. Some decisions were well chosen.

Some just weren't.

And so the consequences of that poorly made decision will follow you around like a sick pig. It'll linger around, perhaps laying waste to the entirety of your day or mess around with your mind until you experience both nausea AND vomiting or even haunt you for a long time until at the very thought of said-decision seems to fry the pit of your stomach. Perhaps it's not the decision that hurt you, it's the monsters that follow. 

So today, I present to you the solution of owning priorities. It'll help prevent you from making decisions you'll most likely REGRET. ^_^

You know, my life would be a lot easier if I had just taken out a piece of paper that day and written down them down. Perhaps I should even write them everyday, but the point is. The point is that while your decisions of the past and their lingering consequences can't and won't change, the one thing that stay absolute are your priorities. What's the connection you ask? By recognizing what is bloody important to you, you recognize that you don't have the ability to control every single aspect of your life. Instead, you understand that you do have the ability to choose your own rules. To choose how you run your life. Priorities are guidelines. They are the outline to your life plan so that whenever you feel you've strayed from what you truly want, from yourself as a person, your priorities are there, solidly and unmoving, to grab you back on track. The track that you chose in the very very beginning before you even ran it. 

It will certainly and most definitely be a life-saver for the little or huge decisions you make now and in the future so that you'll be... how can I say... less afraid of making the wrong decision. And more confident in going about in the world when you know exactly what you want and exactly what you are. That's what I like to call, BADASS. BE A FREAKING BADASS MAN. WITH FREAKING PRIORITIES.

So! I challenge you to grab an index card, your hand, or... toilet paper, whatever. Jot down your priorities in pen or permanent marker. This is serious business, so you'll need an equally serious writing utensil. x'D Jot down your priorities and perhaps, you'll be living with more of a purpose today than you did yesterday. Because you're living life now, except this time, with a plan. With a purpose. 

This was Ngoc reporting. Good day 'Merica!

Your favorite girl,

The Invincible and Bloody Fantastic Ngoc

P.S. I'll be writing less and less frequently as final exams loom closer. So stalk my status for updates! 

(Little Life Lessons with Ngoc): Episode 5 - One Bus + Great People + the Future = Magic

Dear readers, you!

It's your girl Ngoc. Writing from her famous hammock. But before we start, there's something you should know. So far, I've realized that the more episodes I write, the more personal and more intimate the relationship that you as the reader and I as the blogger will have. You guys are going to know a lot about me after this is all over, IF it ever ends that is. Because as the title states, it's "Little Life Lessons with Ngoc" (meaning that when my life is over, it won't be "life" lessons anymore... just saying.) So what that means is you're going to see me rant and vent and rant some more and cry maybe and put my life out there. Think of it as... maybe a sort of public diary. Where you are joining me and reading me whilst perhaps adding more insight into your own lives, whilst having me make your day a bit better or brighter (at least... I hope I'm able to do that), or you can just be reminded that living is a beautiful thing and that each passing day means adding more substance to your life as an entire experience per episode. :)

Um... Let me also say thank you for joining me in my journey of life and anonymously being a part of that. This episode, as you can probably already tell, is going to be really long. Prepare. Get comfy into your own imaginary hammock, and let's see what happens.

Alrighty. So the story starts here. Yesterday, I went with a group of great, fantastic people, specifically other Emerge students to Rice. We all had to stay on the first floor and like, wait there for exactly two hours for a bus to pick us up and take us to Rice. Um... it was a Thursday and all of us knew that we were sacrificing our time to go there. We were going to arrive back at the school around 9 pm and had tons to study for the very next day. It was a commitment that seemed, perhaps, worth it. During that two hour period, I got to let myself loose. It's been a freakishly long-donkey time since I've done that. School does that to you. Expectations and grades and numbers do that to you. It's sad. But hey. From 3:30 to 9 pm, I spent that time with great people. It was worth it. I mean, we're talking dance battles here. Freaking dance battles and one short game of ninja (that got awkward real fast when my face was inches away from this guy's chest. Not that I regret it. But it was def. awkward. x'D) and studying. And my god, it was just great to forget that homework and school existed while waiting in a school. That doesn't make sense, but it definitely does. :)

Once we arrived at the Rice campus, I was just speechless. This was basically the first time that I've ever visited a campus at all. Imagine yourself walking down such nice concrete sidewalks and crossing streets that looked very well paved. There were more sidewalks of gravel and sand and odd yet beautifully charismatic architecture. Guess what else I saw? LOTS OF LAMPPOSTS!!! I was literally gawking and taking pictures of a lamppost. Haha. ^_^ Now I'm going to transition you guys into a darker mood. This is the part where you should rock yourself on the hammock to feel better.

So the scene continues. I enter the stadium. The 340 Emerge seniors begin walking and each speaking into the microphone where they'll be going to for college. And it was a mesmerizing experience. You just find yourself constantly clapping for all 340 chaps. I mean, wow. And it just, makes you think. One day, you and I are going to be just like that. Entering the realm of newness and a lot of... growing up.

You see, the thing about being a teenager has everything to do with the fact that you ARE a teenager. You just.. you feel like a child that never wants to be an adult. And in a way, isn't everyone kind of like this? Being both child and adult. Pieces of both worlds combined. Sure as a teenager, it seems cool to marry and have kids and buy a house and live in it and pay taxes and mortgage and retire and then die. Not the dying part, but you can see what I'm getting at. While all of that sounds fantastic, I just, want to live without responsibilities, any real responsibilities for the rest of my life. I'm free now. I think I am. I think I'm free living as a teenager under her parents' wings that shield her 100% of the time. I love it like this. Being protected by others with no real need to protect myself. (Told you this was going to get somewhat depressing. Is your imaginary hammock still swinging?) I want it to be like this, forever. We all do. Somewhere inside of us, like deep, deeper than the pit of hell and rays of Helios combined we never want to grow up. I feel like this growing up thing should be episode 6 or something. *sigh* I'm sorry!

Turns out that this Rice trip has me thinking about two things.

The first is that sometimes you can unexpectedly spend your time with some great people who can take you places and have a grand time with. Especially the bus ride home from Rice where the whole bus was like, dark. And, the orange-ish lights that surrounded us from tall and elegant buildings that spiralled into the sky, from the lampposts lighting the sandy sidewalks against the night, and it was just wonderful. Being in complete darkness with great people, because I have this philosophy and bear with me: Riding a big yellow bus with great people at night = Magicalness. Haha. Yeah. Try it some time. I assure you. You'll feel this intense connection with everyone on that vehicle and begin to see that living means being with people and being with people means being connected. Invisible strings attached to one another. So try riding a big yellow bus at night, honey buns. x'D

The second thing is that one day, you and I, we have to come to terms with growing up and becoming a part of the world around us. Perhaps it's just me who's afraid. Perhaps we both are. But let's face it. Things that are bound to happen will happen. Growing up will happen. They will all happen. It's just you. And the world. And your supporting invisible army. Because whatever happens, happens and face it like a freaking warrior son.

The perks of living and breathing as a teenager. *sigh*

Thanks for tuning in for this tremendously long episode! This was Ngoc. Have a good day people!


Your Chubby Asian Girl,
Ngoc
(with editing help from my cute little sis. <3)

(Little Life Lessons with Ngoc): Episode 4 - Journey on the Road of Thanks

Dear people who understand that this isn't really an episode but read it anyway, you guys are weird people honestly, (x'D)

Let me first say this is an episode of thanks. So... It's just that. So, run away now if my thanks doesn't interest you. x'D

Warning: This entire episode may sound like advertising, but it’s really not. It’s not at all. Not to me at least. This is just to share a wonderful and almost high experience I had today. That’s all. J

And we continue…

Alors, I woke up this morning, ate breakfast, rushed my Dad faster to the bus stop, got on the bus, turned on my laptop for my daily upbeat and motivating soundtrack and apparently, my Google Hangouts tab was open. I found something absolutely wonderful that had me smiling all day. (Literally.) I had a friend. Not just any friend. A friend that, while we may not know absolutely everything about each other or share every single secret, was such a willing supporter for this mess I call a blog. Yes, she’s a she. J (Unni. Only you know who you are. X’D)

Do you know what she said?

She said that she was really happy I mentioned her in the P.S.S. section of episode 3 and that she’s been daily checking my blog for updates all the while including lots of emojis and lots of hearts (like the ones where you type in <3 and get a pink heart on Google Hangouts for those who have no idea what I just said ^_^). Not only that… SHE BOOKMOARKED MY BLOG AND READ MY BLOG AT 1 AM IN THE MORNING. *sigh* You know what happened to my heart? My real one? I think it grew like, 10 sizes in the old lady’s pants section. And perhaps more. X’D

A PERSON. A PERSON!! IS DAILY CHECKING MY BLOG/MESS FOR ANY UPDATES AND READS THEM AT THE MOST UNGODLY HOUR.

My LORD. I feel like it’s all worth it. Like, if just this one friend of mine, who is so vested into my blog and actually checks it daily, is reading this, then it's enough for me. I am full. And my purpose is fulfilled. And I shall sleep tonight with the happiest of dreams. 

And it hasn't been just Unnie. I mean, look below. 

I get support from the most surprising places. ^_^

And I absolutely love it. <3 (Especially this email.)

x'D Silverrose, if you're reading this. You are now Blogger famous. :) Thank you for your "encouraging" commentary and for all the little comments you leave like these. And alas, for being a great responder. ;) 

Haha, there's Dan too. I don't think this person is fine with my mentioning him. Alas, I still do. He made episode 2 possible through blunt encouragement. "Blog, Ngoc." Blunt is exactly what I needed in order to continue. Thanks for that. x'D

It's been a short journey of what... a week? since I made my decision of doing episodes of lessons I learned that day. And my god. This has been absolutely exhilarating. 3 episodes may not seem much, but it has definitely brightened each and every day for me. Since I'm constantly looking for material to write about, good material to write about that is, I... I'm more observant now of the good that can happen and amount in the world and how, there will always be something good to write about. What a world. What a freakishly amazing world. It's as if I've been blind my whole life and have just looked at the world through a new pair of lens. I love it. Knowing that I am no longer blind. No longer blind to the world's potential beauty. Excuse me as I jump around a bit from giddiness. (GOOD GODS, I SOUND LIKE AN ABSOLUTE HIGHISH PERSON. I'M SORRY. It's okay to avoid me entirely from now on.)

I love how random people chip in some encouragement and how just that is enough to get me going despite the exhaustion. I love it. Maybe, just maybe, this is what I'd like to do with my life. Not all of it mind you, but I can see myself 15 years from now, blogging my life away. :) 

And I now realize that no matter what you do, there will always be people that support you. And that, you're never truly alone in doing anything. Honey, you've got an invisible army behind you. Know that. And it's your choice to fight, not theirs. They'll stand there, spur you on, and add back up when you need it most, but at the end of the day, did you fight or not? Don't let your invisible army down, but most importantly, never ever ever ever ever let YOURSELF down. I don't think I stress this enough but you are the most important reason for fighting every battle. So choose your battles wisely. With that, I leave you my grasshoppers. 

*RUNS INTO BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

Your most thankful girl,

Ngoc

P.S. Okay... so as for updates. Some people think this is a daily thing, but I'm afraid to say that that is not possible. :( It just so happens I was not very busy today so I was able to write a consecutive post. But it will definitely be an every two to three day thing. (Check my Google Hangouts status every so often for updates if you're in my circles. -_-) Mwah! <3 ya!

(Little Life Lessons with Ngoc): Episode 3 - Just Lie Down on a Hammock

Hey there!

It's me. Ngoc. With episode 3! Let's get right into it!

BUT ACTUALLY.... Let's not. Why? Because our lives are almost always about "getting right into it." 

So let's... just walk a couple of circles in front of the rose garden and gently lay ourselves back on the hammock right next to it and just... breathe. (THAT escalated quickly.) I bet you it's been a while since you've really breathed. Just, do that for me. Please. Okay. Just breathe. A warm breath in. Okay. Good. Now, a warm breath out. There you go! Now do that again for me. Except deeper this time and add some soul. Like, ADD some SOUL. Okay, so in.............. And out.................... Haha. Phew! Okay, so you've successfully released a lot of secular tension. Beautiful.

Now I ask that you look up (from your imaginary hammock) and see for yourself how the clouds rotate in the sky with the setting sun a cuddly warm against your skin. And listen how, how the birds chirp miscellaneously in the backdrop of a soft blowing wind, slightly ruffling your hair. Notice how you can feel individual strands of hair graze against your forehead and cheeks and how it feels almost like, like your mother's fingers memorizing your face. And then look down, at the grass below you, how they too sway with the wind and the verdant green that they possess. The way they move, dancing, always dancing. (I mean, how long has it been since you've last danced?) Now feel the air around you. How cool and playful the wind is against the bare skin of your arms, like an old friend coming by for a visit. And then close your eyes. And sense the light coming in from behind your eyelids, warm and yellow and white and like the grass, they too dance around and over and under and away each other in little circles. Now feel your body drop and fly with the hammock, to the left, to the right, to the left, to the right, left, right, left, right... as you try to memorize these wonderful sensations around you. All of them. You try to memorize all of them.

Beautiful. 

Beautiful.

Just, my god, it's beautiful. 

Isn't it? Isn't it just... beautiful how living means being able to wake up everyday and having the ability to experience all these sensations. Being able to... just stop and just breathe and then... experience. Feel. The. Sensations. Whilst the world around you doesn't stop, you can. It's your life and being alive does not mainly mean money, does not mean grades, does not mean work, does not mean fitting up to ideals, does not mean running until you're out of breath because someone told you to, nor does it entirely mean to absolutely stop either. Because don't forget. There's a thing called "you" with thoughts, hopes, dreams, pains, aches, and wishes. Don't forget that you have you. 

Living doesn't mean to constantly run or jog or don't sleep or "omg, there's a deadline." 

While the entire world can do that, give yourself some space today, give yourself some time to stop for once (or maybe forever :P) and experience what it truly means to live.

This was Ngoc Nguyen reporting. Signing out to just lie down on her hammock. 

Your girl,

The Time-Stopper/Jaw-Dropper/Constant Grasshopper Ngoc :)

P.S. Wow. I'm already on episode 3! Wow. Just, wow. You know, when I started all this episode stuff, it was just a way to vent my feelings to anyone that would read whether it be 3 or 40 people. (literally. like, that's the stat right now. being 3 people of course. x'D) And, so far, it feels great. I don't know if I'm making a difference but it certainly feels good to sit down and write stuff for an hour. It always feels magical to put thoughts to a blog or to put them anywhere at all really. It feels magical. It really does.

P.P.S. Of course, I had supporters. I’d like to thank my friends, those that say “Hey, you should be a therapist or at least a writer.” SilverRose and my Unni. <3 This shout-out goes to y’all if you guys are even reading this episode. Ouch. And if I have haters, I’d also like to say, “Ouch.” And of course, I’d like to thank this one person that constantly and absentmindedly and randomly reminds me to “blog, Ngoc.” I shall. I shall blog.

(Little Life Lessons with Ngoc): Episode 2 - Two Spices and Parmesan

Dear grasshoppers,

Hello there. Get comfy. This is going to be a short one. (I mean... all these episodes kind of are in order to not bore my lovely, lovely readers with equally lovely, lovely long paragraphs.) Let's dive into the hypothetical idea of 2 spices and parmesan, shall we now?

Okay, so I had an intense badminton match a few days ago in gym. This is how I recall it.

I just came in from the mile, tired, sweaty, icky, and ew into the middle of badminton game time. Alors, the only thing I could do was be a sub, so I subbed for the floor that had the lowest score of points. At least there, I wouldn't have to worry about being competitive or being the cause of a lost game.

Anyways, I joined in and my partner was pretty awesome. And I love badminton. So, despite the mile's icky and exhausting residue, I felt alive to actually even play.

You know, the thing about playing a game where you just believe you'd lose is that there is no animal instinct to prove yourself. Instead there's this complete beauty in acceptance. Acceptance and anticipation of loss. So while you do try and put in effort, unlike everyone else, you have the ability to play a good game for what it truly is. You play for fun. Whilst the rest of my team played in deep concentration with focus etched on their faces, my little duo over here was playing this game asking only for a good time. That's it. Whilst anticipating the result to be a loss, of course. :P

A good time. That's all we wanted.
My god. It definitely was.

So here's the surprising thing.

Imagine yourself eating out at a pizza restaurant. The thing about you is that you just love putting spices on your pizza. Your friend here is sitting beside you. You ask them politely if they can pass over two of the spices on the spices rack. You just love your pizza that way, full of spices. And so they do. At the same time that you're spicing up your pizza, a chef walks by and dumps a ton of parmesan onto your pizza. And of course you love parmesan, you just didn't expect the FREE parmesan part coming from a CHEF. (I mean, isn't that guy supposed to be in the kitchen?? Anyways...) Hey, it's FREE and you love parmesan, and the pizza tastes great. And you love it. That night you sleep happy and fulfilled in dreams of a world where you can ask for one something yet along the journey receive more than what you asked for. I mean, what a world, am I right?

Look, I'm not here to brag or anything. But... after having played that badminton match in the name of fun, of amusement, of a grand old time, my duo here got something else we didn't ask for (like that random chef who dumped tons of free parmesan). We got to win. Yeah, like woooo!!! Happy ending!! Yay!! That strays from the point a little bit, but the point is... sometimes. Not all the time.

Sometimes you can walk down a path looking for one wonderful thing, but instead, you received said-wonderful thing plus one more wonderful thing. (my god, that was bloody repetitive.) Or two more if you're really, really lucky. And who wouldn't like a lot of luck?

And so at the end of the day, that extra something you got, that you didn't ask for? It remains a pleasant surprise. Throughout your day, and it makes you think. "If something so simple, as simple as free parmesan can burgeon my heart, maybe I should do that for others. If I felt so freaking high from getting free parmesan, let's get the world high."

I'll stop there, because everything else that I want to say after this will be hellishly cheesy.

Yet I still continue...

Today, walk down the road. And believe that wonderful can happen to you. And that YOU can do wonderful. DROP SOME FREE PARMESAN ON PEOPLE, PEOPLE.


Your favorite girl,
The Hellishly Amazing Ngoc

(Little Life Lessons that Ngoc Finds in Her Day): Episode 1 - Coincidence

Dear readers, thinkers, doers, people, humans, you,



Hi you. Yes, you. Thanks for coming by. Let's dive into this short episode then!

Today, I realized a little something.
Nothing special really. Just something I'd like to rant a little about whilst giving a little life lesson.

Sometimes the one person you want to see or are trying to avoid is the exact person you end up seeing (all day in various places), always a step behind you. At first, I thought it complete coincidence, because I was taking a route that I haven't in the longest time and not only that but the amount of time that I left and gone was completely off. I was walking in a way that it'd be completely impossible to have met the person anyways. Like, no way was I gonna even run into this person, people. Yet it happened, and I was shook.

You know what this says about our lives? (You've read this far, don't stop now.)

It's a two-way street. Throughout a whole day, there will be people you do or don't want to meet, yet eventually, through coincidence, poor timing (or good timing, who knows?), you'll have to face them anyways, just like you'll have to face the many other things in your day.

Test, lunch table games, long lunch lines, powerpoints, that lunch lady. The list goes on. And life goes on. Time moves on.

Because face it, honey. You'll HAVE to face the (insert noun(s)) eventually. You can't run away forever. I mean, you can, but then you'd have to stop running at one point, am I right? And so with that said, put on a brave face and live about everyday prepared to face anything and everything that shall come at you. Do that, and your life may just be a bit more breathable. I assure you. :)

"It shall pass." - a wise human once said.

Best of wishes,
Your girl x'D

P.s. For the past 20 minutes, I've hastily decided to do a sort of episode thing where I write a short little life lesson teacher-ish thing every so days. It might be fun. I might quit halfway. This episode may even be the first and last episode, but we'll see. We'll see. O_O No one really reads them anyways, but *sigh* c'est la vie. We do these types of things to fulfill ourselves.

P.s.s. Added art by Lucy (one of my best friends and blog followers) on the 2nd of August. :D It's due time she gets the recognition she deserves.

I need a quick place to rant, so here goes.

"I'll just talk randomly here as motivation. Don't even respond to me ok. Not even this message.

I'm a Theravada Buddhist.

And I love English.

Except, I can't just take English.

I have to take everything else.

ughhh

and sometimes, it used to be rarely but

lately I feel like my life here in America isn't my life

it's lead by stupid rules

that others before have set in stone

i feel caged

especially here, at DeBakey.

I have to force myself to stay up.

To stay awake.

Why though?

Why do I even bother?

Why do you even bother?

What makes us both stay up against exhaustion.

I don't even know.

Sometimes, I wish I lived on an island.

At least, I knew that my life was mine.

People make it complicated.

People make too many rules"

...

My exact thoughts on a late night conversation with a good old friend who was willing to listen. *sigh*

(More posts to come soon. Don't worry people who actually read my stuff.) 

- That girl.

:)