Dear Earth-sized organisms of this part of the galaxy,
I write to you today to express and give you guys a peek, just a peek into my life. The life of a teenage girl who is growing wings.
I was in the car to my bus stop and my Mom (the driver of said car) told me why my Dad was unusually in a bad mood that morning. I had had a sore throat that morning and he had made me fried (haha, thank you Luce for the typo 11.13.17) eggs which had given me a headache just thinking about them so I told him, "No thank you. I'm sick, Dad. Sorry!"
"Ngoc, do you know why he suddenly got angry at you this morning when you did nothing wrong to anger him?"
I nodded no and she looked on, driving. There was a silence. A few more beats. I looked at her. Waiting.
"Remember how he went to his friend's house yesterday afternoon? Well, he heard from this friend that he [my Dad's friend] has a friend that had two daughters who both became doctors. Their father had driven them to school like your own father is doing for you and your sister everyday. And guess what they did? They left him. They hadn't visited him ever since they graduated. And that was years and years ago."
By now, I knew what she was getting at.
"Ngoc. He thinks you'll leave him once you make something of yourself and forget him completely. Never visiting him like those two girls. And forget how he has driven you both to school everyday and the love he has for you. He really does love you, Ngoc, though he shows it differently than other fathers. He does."
At that point, we've arrived at my bus stop. I didn't move to leave. I looked at my Mom. It seemed that it was not only Dad's thoughts, but also her's too.
"Mom. Of course I'll leave you and Dad."
And I actually meant it. That I wanted to leave them. But then... I just, stopped and said instead, "Haven't you both helped me grow these wings so that I can fly? I'll fly, but I'll never, ever be so cold as to forget my own parents, never visiting them. I'll fly, but I'll return. I'll make sure of it."
This little mini-story here serves to tell you, the audience, of two types of love that I've learned of in my life being a teenager and all.
One type being a love that cages the person being loved. You love someone so much that you can't have them gone. You can't give them an opportunity to leave you, because if they do, you'll just have yourself. And so you cage this person. So they can't fly away. If they can't fly away, that means they can't leave you eh? Now this kind of love is, I won't say selfish, but done in a means where only you are the person who benefits. It's one-sided. It's unseeing and blind and cold.
The other type being a love that sets the other person free if they want to be. There are no chains. There is no cage. Just sky above, because why? You would rather their happiness than your own. You would rather their freedom than yours. And you would rather be miserable if they can live fulfilled, free, and flying. This love is one-sided, but in a different way. You don't just see yourself in this picture. You see them. You just see them. This love is brave. It's seeing and miserable and real and frightful.
At the same time, I'm also trying to carve out your appreciation for those closest to you.
I want you to ask this question. How do you love those around you? How do you want to be loved? And do you appreciate the love given to you enough?
Sincerely,
Thank you for tuning in. This was Ngoc Nguyen with not only a life update but also another lesson.
Your dearest of dears and free-flying birdie,
Ngoc
[If your opinions are differing from mine, big oof to you, but I am writing this to express my feelings so... this is what you get! Boom.]
Monday, November 14, 2016
Friday, February 26, 2016
Optimism and more Life Lessons with Ngoc.
Dear random audience and friends,
Well, considering the title of this blog, you can tell what this one will be about...
I'll just start on the frank side of things. Let me first ask you one question. (I think I might just start considering being a therapist. Or whatever jobs that are left over. Heh.)
Are you happy? Which leads to more questions, such as: Do you have time to be happy? Do you try to be happy? When are you the happiest? Is happiness important to you at all? Are you too preoccupied to by happy? What the heck is happiness even?
Now let me tell you this. And you may be a stubborn-minded person or easily misguided, but happiness is, indeed, the most important abstract feeling, thing, foundation, call-it-whatever that you must have in your life.
Today, humans like us don't have time to really consider, really meditate on how satisfied we are with our lives. How blessed we are. How much more we can do to feel satisfied.
We're all occupied with work, homework, deadlines, and so many other events that clash with our own happiness.
Why is happiness important? The answer is simple. Happiness is the key to knowing who you truly are. It highlights your strengths and weaknesses. It shows are capabilities. It lets us see past hard times. It brings in the optimism and enthusiasm into everything we do. Solidly, it is the foundation to life. To all life. Sure, we all started out as crying babies, sad, and distraught, but the ultimate goal to life is happiness.
And what I like to think of happiness is, when you die, you have no regrets. But of course, mind you, have happiness without harming anyone, of course. Don't forget that you have those who care about you and you care about them. Just, don't forget to avoid the kind of happiness that hurts others.
But otherwise! Be happy! Breathe! And good luck to YOU, on YOUR journey to finding YOURSELF. And live with no regrets. Do it well.
Your favorite girl,
The Over-Enthusiastic, Over-Optimistic, Amazingly Awesome Ngoc
Well, considering the title of this blog, you can tell what this one will be about...
I'll just start on the frank side of things. Let me first ask you one question. (I think I might just start considering being a therapist. Or whatever jobs that are left over. Heh.)
Are you happy? Which leads to more questions, such as: Do you have time to be happy? Do you try to be happy? When are you the happiest? Is happiness important to you at all? Are you too preoccupied to by happy? What the heck is happiness even?
Now let me tell you this. And you may be a stubborn-minded person or easily misguided, but happiness is, indeed, the most important abstract feeling, thing, foundation, call-it-whatever that you must have in your life.
Today, humans like us don't have time to really consider, really meditate on how satisfied we are with our lives. How blessed we are. How much more we can do to feel satisfied.
We're all occupied with work, homework, deadlines, and so many other events that clash with our own happiness.
Why is happiness important? The answer is simple. Happiness is the key to knowing who you truly are. It highlights your strengths and weaknesses. It shows are capabilities. It lets us see past hard times. It brings in the optimism and enthusiasm into everything we do. Solidly, it is the foundation to life. To all life. Sure, we all started out as crying babies, sad, and distraught, but the ultimate goal to life is happiness.
And what I like to think of happiness is, when you die, you have no regrets. But of course, mind you, have happiness without harming anyone, of course. Don't forget that you have those who care about you and you care about them. Just, don't forget to avoid the kind of happiness that hurts others.
But otherwise! Be happy! Breathe! And good luck to YOU, on YOUR journey to finding YOURSELF. And live with no regrets. Do it well.
Your favorite girl,
The Over-Enthusiastic, Over-Optimistic, Amazingly Awesome Ngoc
P.S. (THIS IS NGOC FROM THE FUTURE, 4/26/21: I god I tried to push concepts on others back then. I cringe at this episode because of how much I've deviated from everything I've said here. Finding myself? More like creating myself. haha. Happiness being that important? I still agree that it is but for some reason, I'm more into peace. Hey. I won't discredit 15 year old Ngoc. She was onto something. She was just too young to see more. Beyond what she knew. She has a good heart though, smol Ngoc. A little too optimistic and hopeful but a cutie-patootie. Okay Ngoc from the future outttt)
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Huh. Merci Dieu!! Life Lessons with Ngoc! (Get ready for it.)
Dear Readers, the general audience, the peoples of Earth or Jupiter or whatever...
Haha! Hello there! I have not been up to my game lately. I was just reading my earlier, naive, over-dramatic, and quite ridiculous posts of the past. Wasn't really my cup of tea, really.
Thing was. I could actually see my own growth, my own development as a total weirdo, come to life like a horror movie. The experience was exasperating. Amusing mostly, but I enjoyed every hellish moment of it. People change, don't they? And I guess I've changed for the better also.
Moving into a new educational environment, at first, was tremendously scary. I expected the worst. I always do, so it doesn't count, but having really experienced this new environment, I'm one step closer to understanding who the heck I am.
I think that when you put yourself into a scary situation, a situation where you're challenged to adapt, to sweat, and to endure, you place yourself in the forefront of battle. You know what you're getting into. You know what's coming. And you're going to go through with it. That's brave. Pure bravery. And afterwards, the only possible result of this is experience. The good kind. The kind that you'll use for the rest of your mortal life.
I know. I know. That may sound really difficult. But once you weigh out the pros and cons, I guarantee you that the pros will win and always will when you follow this sort-a-plan. And once you do come out unscathed, you'll find those like you. People that challenged themselves too. People that you'll agree with. A lot. I'll skip all the lovey-dovey stuff, but yep. You'll earn yourself some friendship.
But the most important thing you'll find, is yourself. (Ngoc from the future: 12/6/20 -- this is absolute bullshit and terrible advice. You can't expect to find yourself. That's assuming at birth you were borne with qualities that make you unique. Which yes, is true, but also isn't, because I certainly did not have the leadership skills that I do now. You gotta sow to be the you that you want to be.-- "find yourself" HAHAHA.... oh ngoc.) That's the most important. Because when you do, life is gonna be a smoother ride without the chicken holes and the walking dead. Life's gonna be good. And you'll be one step closer each time you challenge yourself.
You'll find something incredible. I guarantee that too.
Sincerely,
Ngoc the Therapist (Ngoc from the future: no you absolutely are NOT a good therapist at all-- god you're exasperating Ngoc from the past)
Haha! Hello there! I have not been up to my game lately. I was just reading my earlier, naive, over-dramatic, and quite ridiculous posts of the past. Wasn't really my cup of tea, really.
Thing was. I could actually see my own growth, my own development as a total weirdo, come to life like a horror movie. The experience was exasperating. Amusing mostly, but I enjoyed every hellish moment of it. People change, don't they? And I guess I've changed for the better also.
Moving into a new educational environment, at first, was tremendously scary. I expected the worst. I always do, so it doesn't count, but having really experienced this new environment, I'm one step closer to understanding who the heck I am.
I think that when you put yourself into a scary situation, a situation where you're challenged to adapt, to sweat, and to endure, you place yourself in the forefront of battle. You know what you're getting into. You know what's coming. And you're going to go through with it. That's brave. Pure bravery. And afterwards, the only possible result of this is experience. The good kind. The kind that you'll use for the rest of your mortal life.
I know. I know. That may sound really difficult. But once you weigh out the pros and cons, I guarantee you that the pros will win and always will when you follow this sort-a-plan. And once you do come out unscathed, you'll find those like you. People that challenged themselves too. People that you'll agree with. A lot. I'll skip all the lovey-dovey stuff, but yep. You'll earn yourself some friendship.
But the most important thing you'll find, is yourself. (Ngoc from the future: 12/6/20 -- this is absolute bullshit and terrible advice. You can't expect to find yourself. That's assuming at birth you were borne with qualities that make you unique. Which yes, is true, but also isn't, because I certainly did not have the leadership skills that I do now. You gotta sow to be the you that you want to be.-- "find yourself" HAHAHA.... oh ngoc.) That's the most important. Because when you do, life is gonna be a smoother ride without the chicken holes and the walking dead. Life's gonna be good. And you'll be one step closer each time you challenge yourself.
You'll find something incredible. I guarantee that too.
Sincerely,
Ngoc the Therapist (Ngoc from the future: no you absolutely are NOT a good therapist at all-- god you're exasperating Ngoc from the past)
Monday, September 14, 2015
TWO WHOLE YEARS SINCE LAST DEAR FRIENDS
Haha! Dear Readers!
It's been what? Two whole years and more since last, and I'm here to say hi! Wow, I've grown up quite a bit, and a dear friend of mine encouraged me to continue this successful blog. Yes, it's very successful. Can be award-winning had I not discontinued it two whole years and more ago. Moving on!
Life has been strange since then. I've encountered life changing ideas that had I just utilized, were such easy little habits.
- I've found out that if you can manage your time just a bit more efficiently, not everyone is out to kill you.
- I've found out that your teachers can be your best friend.
- I've found out that friends can later be sworn enemies.
- I've found out that even though distance can separate, it can't stop THE FEELS.
- I've found out that if you love a book, get it off the shelf, read it, and compare what you're reading to everyone else and slash anyone's book that looks even half as good as yours.
- And I've found out that before you can change people around you, you must change yourself (for the better of course. Hitler had the wrong idea, clearly.)
- And lastly, the very last, I swear, sometimes good-looking people are out to kill you, so you should add it to YOUR list ahead of time. Word for the wise.
Oh! And you guys should try playing Marvel: Avengers Alliance. It's like the best thing ever invented! You'll love it gamers! >.< Well, checking in and out. And with more to say.
Sincerely,
NKN
Random Link ------------------------->> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G2ehTZv2Ew
It's been what? Two whole years and more since last, and I'm here to say hi! Wow, I've grown up quite a bit, and a dear friend of mine encouraged me to continue this successful blog. Yes, it's very successful. Can be award-winning had I not discontinued it two whole years and more ago. Moving on!
Life has been strange since then. I've encountered life changing ideas that had I just utilized, were such easy little habits.
- I've found out that if you can manage your time just a bit more efficiently, not everyone is out to kill you.
- I've found out that your teachers can be your best friend.
- I've found out that friends can later be sworn enemies.
- I've found out that even though distance can separate, it can't stop THE FEELS.
- I've found out that if you love a book, get it off the shelf, read it, and compare what you're reading to everyone else and slash anyone's book that looks even half as good as yours.
- And I've found out that before you can change people around you, you must change yourself (for the better of course. Hitler had the wrong idea, clearly.)
- And lastly, the very last, I swear, sometimes good-looking people are out to kill you, so you should add it to YOUR list ahead of time. Word for the wise.
Oh! And you guys should try playing Marvel: Avengers Alliance. It's like the best thing ever invented! You'll love it gamers! >.< Well, checking in and out. And with more to say.
Sincerely,
NKN
Random Link ------------------------->> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G2ehTZv2Ew
Sunday, August 25, 2013
About Tomorrow: I'd Kill For It To Be Over (
Dear Readers,
I'm sure I'll see you Readers at something called "school" tomorrow. I'm neutral about it. Nothing important. I feel like 1/4 of a year just passed by under the column of summer. And fall is my favorite fall-back (get it?!) since the feeling is calm and things are slowly wilting. (MWAHAHAHAHA!!)
I get some things left on my list that seem "needed." And at least tomorrow I'll see Ro-Nova. And that secret handshake!!! Can't wait!!! I hope to see how much you "short" people, no offense, have grown!!!
And slowly, dear Readers, I'm seeing something remarkable at the other side of the wall. After reading something (I'm not telling) that said the right things, I find myself knowing I exist for a REASON!!! (Hello Sa-Hau.) And if I ever get stressed and admit it, my Mom's gonna have to buy me a candy! Oke. SLEEP TIME. Bus arrives at 6:09 A.M. Wake up at 5:45. Yawns....
Respectfully,
N.K.DN
I'm sure I'll see you Readers at something called "school" tomorrow. I'm neutral about it. Nothing important. I feel like 1/4 of a year just passed by under the column of summer. And fall is my favorite fall-back (get it?!) since the feeling is calm and things are slowly wilting. (MWAHAHAHAHA!!)
I get some things left on my list that seem "needed." And at least tomorrow I'll see Ro-Nova. And that secret handshake!!! Can't wait!!! I hope to see how much you "short" people, no offense, have grown!!!
And slowly, dear Readers, I'm seeing something remarkable at the other side of the wall. After reading something (I'm not telling) that said the right things, I find myself knowing I exist for a REASON!!! (Hello Sa-Hau.) And if I ever get stressed and admit it, my Mom's gonna have to buy me a candy! Oke. SLEEP TIME. Bus arrives at 6:09 A.M. Wake up at 5:45. Yawns....
Respectfully,
N.K.DN
Sunday, July 14, 2013
(Ngoc from the future says this post is very self-exploratory.)
Dear Readers,
I haven't been on Google+ lately, because my computer broke down so I'm using my Kindle Fire. I'm going on vacay for four weeks in my homeland. Sooo..
Oke, so recently my family is struggling with cooperation. My parents have been constantly arguing about the packing, the tickets, what we do when we get there, stuff like that. It's a headache. My little sister doesn't 'care.' And I'm also in a struggle trying to calm both sides to only see the heat rub off on me. People are complicated things, really. ''The more I know about people, the more I like my dog.'' I forgot who said the actual quote or if the quote is the original though I can totally relate to it. When I think about it, a family is something to stand on before stepping up on your own. When I need people most, shouldn't my family be there? No, they aren't. And sorry guys, that was all from my diary... no need for that crap anymore... hehe
So here's a tip to get smarter? Oke, try laughing more. It calms, relaxes you which is really healthy. And over the last month I was deciding between watching Pink Panther one or two. Watch comedies. This might sound a bit absurd, but you won't regret trying to watch Three's Company, I think. That's the title. Three's Company. It's kinda 1980-ish. The more you laugh the better. It's actually helped, laughing yoga, epic awesomeness.
Sorry for talking all over the place, but I'm trying to summarize as best I could? Lately, I've been trying to figure who I am. It seems like I still don't know. What purpose do I have for this world? What am I meant to be? Who is this Ngoc? But of course, I don't get a reply. That's just for time to let me figure out. But what if I don't? I used to be so sure of myself, what I wanted to do. Maybe I was just being a kid. Saying anything to please my parents. Maybe, there is no Ngoc Khoa Nguyen. it's definitely sweet dreams that I have to live off of. Sweet dreams Ngoc. Tomorrow is another day for more figuring.
I haven't been on Google+ lately, because my computer broke down so I'm using my Kindle Fire. I'm going on vacay for four weeks in my homeland. Sooo..
Oke, so recently my family is struggling with cooperation. My parents have been constantly arguing about the packing, the tickets, what we do when we get there, stuff like that. It's a headache. My little sister doesn't 'care.' And I'm also in a struggle trying to calm both sides to only see the heat rub off on me. People are complicated things, really. ''The more I know about people, the more I like my dog.'' I forgot who said the actual quote or if the quote is the original though I can totally relate to it. When I think about it, a family is something to stand on before stepping up on your own. When I need people most, shouldn't my family be there? No, they aren't. And sorry guys, that was all from my diary... no need for that crap anymore... hehe
So here's a tip to get smarter? Oke, try laughing more. It calms, relaxes you which is really healthy. And over the last month I was deciding between watching Pink Panther one or two. Watch comedies. This might sound a bit absurd, but you won't regret trying to watch Three's Company, I think. That's the title. Three's Company. It's kinda 1980-ish. The more you laugh the better. It's actually helped, laughing yoga, epic awesomeness.
Sorry for talking all over the place, but I'm trying to summarize as best I could? Lately, I've been trying to figure who I am. It seems like I still don't know. What purpose do I have for this world? What am I meant to be? Who is this Ngoc? But of course, I don't get a reply. That's just for time to let me figure out. But what if I don't? I used to be so sure of myself, what I wanted to do. Maybe I was just being a kid. Saying anything to please my parents. Maybe, there is no Ngoc Khoa Nguyen. it's definitely sweet dreams that I have to live off of. Sweet dreams Ngoc. Tomorrow is another day for more figuring.
Friday, June 28, 2013
THE MANY DAYS BEFORE DEATH: A USUAL HISTORY OF OUR FUTURE
Dear Readers,
Death, I realized is a thing that most people are afraid of. You can't get out of it. There's no way around it. You can't be young again and remake decisions that have changed the course of your life. Memories are your history when you grow older. Here's how I think of society today.
1 years old = I know nothing. I just know that I have to eat, sleep, and get changed.
5 = I know I love my parents. But what is love truly? I just know I need them. They buy me things that I like. School's fun. I color and draw. My friends are okay to me. We play, we fight, we're having a fun life. I'm happy to see my Dad pick me up from school. He's there for me.
12 = I live off of fantasy. My parents are frustrating. They annoy me about me having to have good grades. I don't get the things I want as easily as I do anymore. My friends always text me and I don't want to break our bond so my homework is usually late. I have a crush who I dream of at night. My heart's telling me, he's the one.
18 = I came from Texas. New York is so different. Here my life really begins. I miss my night light, lunch box, getting tucked in, Daddy wisdom, Mommy hugs, and friendly days. University is really hard to keep up but I have to try. Or everything I've worked for since 5 really goes to waste.
28 = I'm working in a factory. I'm not as successful as I thought... I failed... My boyfriend dumped me for a rich girl. That nerd became a millionaire by now. He's successful in the world. I'm living off of Spaghettios. *sighs
35 = I live in an apartment with 3 children. My husband and I met outta desperateness.
50 = My children shun me. Saying I'm too poor and bad at raising them up and blaming me for their poorness. They're doing labor work also but one child of mine is a soldier and death and life is a far thing beyond my reach...
65 = I live off of the government. My grandchildren rarely visit me.
75 = I'm meeting my death bed earlier than I thought...
So you guys kinda see the life of not trying at a young age? Just try, no, DO what you can and more and you may die in a better state? Not rotting in an apartment? I know many of you WON'T, but just saying. I thought of death as I saw a picture of Bruce Lee's funeral. All big and pretty and tears. Haha. Thanks for wasting yall time!
Death, I realized is a thing that most people are afraid of. You can't get out of it. There's no way around it. You can't be young again and remake decisions that have changed the course of your life. Memories are your history when you grow older. Here's how I think of society today.
1 years old = I know nothing. I just know that I have to eat, sleep, and get changed.
5 = I know I love my parents. But what is love truly? I just know I need them. They buy me things that I like. School's fun. I color and draw. My friends are okay to me. We play, we fight, we're having a fun life. I'm happy to see my Dad pick me up from school. He's there for me.
12 = I live off of fantasy. My parents are frustrating. They annoy me about me having to have good grades. I don't get the things I want as easily as I do anymore. My friends always text me and I don't want to break our bond so my homework is usually late. I have a crush who I dream of at night. My heart's telling me, he's the one.
18 = I came from Texas. New York is so different. Here my life really begins. I miss my night light, lunch box, getting tucked in, Daddy wisdom, Mommy hugs, and friendly days. University is really hard to keep up but I have to try. Or everything I've worked for since 5 really goes to waste.
28 = I'm working in a factory. I'm not as successful as I thought... I failed... My boyfriend dumped me for a rich girl. That nerd became a millionaire by now. He's successful in the world. I'm living off of Spaghettios. *sighs
35 = I live in an apartment with 3 children. My husband and I met outta desperateness.
50 = My children shun me. Saying I'm too poor and bad at raising them up and blaming me for their poorness. They're doing labor work also but one child of mine is a soldier and death and life is a far thing beyond my reach...
65 = I live off of the government. My grandchildren rarely visit me.
75 = I'm meeting my death bed earlier than I thought...
So you guys kinda see the life of not trying at a young age? Just try, no, DO what you can and more and you may die in a better state? Not rotting in an apartment? I know many of you WON'T, but just saying. I thought of death as I saw a picture of Bruce Lee's funeral. All big and pretty and tears. Haha. Thanks for wasting yall time!
P.S. Ngoc from the dam future here - (5/4/21) to be exact. YOOO WHAT THE HECK DID I EVEN WRITE. hahahah... also apartments are NOT bad. And my love for Bruce Lee back then was borderline obsessive. And hey, it's not really trying so much as having joy as often as you can, at as many moments as you can, little Ngoc. * pets wittle Ngoc *
You did waste my time good tho. :I
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