Hello, helloooo buddies!~
I have a question for you this week: Is there anyone you would like to just say "Thank you" to?
It can just be one person, a group of people, or a community that uplifts you, helping you get to where you are today. In more ways than one, I am who I am today because of the people in my life.
Which sounds beautiful, doesn't it? Because it is.
So here's the story...
Being the ambitious kid I am, I've sought and applied for multiple summer programs at once. This meant I needed some great essays, equally great recommendations, and of course, some initiative to continue through. And guess what?
I needed the support of, gosh, so many people every step of the way. I was almost never alone. I would need help editing my essays. I would need a teacher willing to put out his/her own time to write me that rec letter. And I would need some type of support system to keep me motivated throughout the process.
People. I needed people the entire time.
That's not to say that needing people is a good thing in general, but it was the knowledge that I wasn't alone in that seemingly lonely, self-driven process of ambition, of dreams, of hope that made the experience a better one. And... being quite a reserved person in general, my support system was relatively small, but that worked out well in the end because all I had to do was ask and almost always, someone out there would answer the call. ^_^
Because it's not about how many people you have in your life that will change it, it's about the type of people you surround yourself with. Quality, resilient, steady persons willing to stand with you. Willing to stay with you despite the many things they have on their plate already. People who want you to succeed.
And as I talk about this... many moments collect and stand out to me. On a specific night about two months ago as I stayed up to two in the morning trying to gather my wits around mountains of mini-essays for a certain competitive program, this friend of mine stayed up with me the entire time that long night, tirelessly making careful edits. He never questioned. Despite his own projects and mountains of work to finish, he plowed through my essays, tending to them as if they were his own. I remember how motivated I became, because this was no longer a lonely road into the night; I was fighting with someone. Someone so willing to be there, to help me achieve what I wanted.
And then other moments pops up as well.
It was another one of the lunches I had with my French teacher. I remember feeling nervous and uneasy because I was about to approach her for something that I felt would make me seem shallow; "Oh, Ngoc's only been eating lunch with me just to get a good rec letter?" Welp. That's what I'm afraid of. And even today, I'm still afraid of appearing as if I'm only out to befriend you only to use you... but I remember how warm she was to me when I brought it up.
"Ngoc, just go ahead and send me the details and your resume. I'll make sure to meet the deadline, okay? Okay!" And then she hugged me. ^_^
(That recommendation she wrote for me? I felt like crying from joy.)
There are so many moments that I've managed to somehow collect from just these summer programs. And a last one stands out.
I was procrastinating this one summer program which meant I needed editing work on a bunch of essays the night before the deadline. I emailed a random college coordinator, assuming she was my own college coordinator. She replied to me and in less than two hours had put so many helpful edits on all my essays. I later found out that she hardly knew me. That is, she didn't know me at all.
Yet she helped me; no questions asked. I learned a little bit more that night what it meant to be kind. Especially to a stranger. <3
Because... people. Gosh, people. All the people in my life... I am simply a myriad of experiences with many types of people I've encountered thus far. And I continue to be.
We both continue to be.
So it is quite valid as they say? That we should surround yourself with people who inspire us, who move us, who change us for the better? You answer that! Not me! ^_^
And of course, you and I are bound to run into someone or something who challenges our morals, our priorities, even all we believed in either a positive or negative way, but it's up to us to make a decision that stays true to ourselves in both essence and definition. A decision we can be happy with. (More on this in a future episode? Sure!) :)
Before I go, I leave you with this: Dare you to thank just one person who has shaped you or your life for the better. Today! TO-DAY. Shoot them an e-mail. Give them a call. Or say it to them in person. Feel free to thank more than one person~ the more the merrier~ Trust me on this one. Trust meeeeee.
Hope you have a wonderful day, my buddies~
Your blogger girl,
Ngoc
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Friday, May 11, 2018
(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 25 - Let's Appreciate Ourselves ~ (1/4 mark)
Heya readers!
This is episode 25. I am 1/4 done with my intended journey of... 100 episodes!
In today's episode, as special as any other, we are going to celebrate ourselves in the best way that we can: by writing a blog episode about it, of course. ^_^
(lolol I'm bad at transitions, againnnnn) Very recently... wait, no, I think... for a very long time, I've felt less than myself. This very real inferior complex that has driven me mad, that continues to hurt me. Gosh, just the thought of feeling less than someone else because of their amazing accomplishments or who they are or how they look or where they've been: I've let that all get to me. Because I keep comparing who I am to who others are around me, I've unknowingly hurt myself. It's been a painful experience, and well, it is painful. And it's something I still have and will probably continue to feel unless I start appreciating myself for who I am already. *sigh*
Here's the story. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine (Ana~) who had read an earlier "rant" on this very blog reached out to me, saying and reaching my heart with the kindest encouragements. Except, she and I aren't extremely close friends, but somehow years of knowing each other can make it easy for her to reach out to me and I to her... to just be kind. She tried to instill in me my own sense of self-love. In fact, she pushed for it when she said I shouldn't be comparing myself to others when I'm perfect as I am. Not, heh, perfect as in the actual definition, but perfect as in, I'm the most perfect Ngoc there is, because I am the only Ngoc.
This is a pretty cliche lesson isn't it?
But the point is, I shouldn't be feeling less than myself, when I am myself. I shouldn't be feeling sorry for being who I am, for having experienced what I've experienced. And sure, I'm human and you're human. That would mean we'd both have regrets we can't forget or have negatively affected us and maybe, maybe sometimes you'd feel those experiences have made you a lesser person. Maybe sometimes, you would stop and wonder who you'd be if you did this or did that, but ultimately, those decisions are in the past. They've already been made. And you are who you are already. You are who you choose to be with every decision you make but don't let that be your make-or-break factor.
Because the make-or-break factor is this: you're at the very least happy with something in your life. There's something good about it. This thing doesn't have to be big even; it can be super small too. Like, personally, what I really like about being me is the fact that my Grandma makes the most awesome salty, dried chicken shreds to eat with rice, ever! What I also really like about being me are my offensively thick calves. Like... wow. They are thickkk calves. But I love them, because I like to think that if we're in some apocalypse, I have at least a little bit more than my younger sister to snack on. ;P
Honestly, just pause here for a bit to give yourself some love. Give yourself a pat on the back for even visiting this blog. Do it! Now give yourself a high-five for being you. ^_^ *high fiveeeeee*
I'm not saying that I'll ever be able to stop comparing myself to others, because there are no such things as absolutes when it comes to our constantly-evolving selves -- yadidadada-- However, what is true is that I'm willing to do all I can, drawing inspiration and motivation and self-love from others around me, to simply appreciate myself. Appreciate that while I may not have the most accomplished or have the most stellar-looking resume or have the biggest dreams a girl can have or be the most beautiful, I am Ngoc. And I really appreciate myself. I've got through a lot in my life. I've been through a lot. There are, of course, moments when I made cringey decisions. There are moments when I've made a fool of myself. There are times when I could have done better for the people around me, people I dearly love. There are many times in my life when I could have appreciated others more. There were, gosh, so many moments where I wanted to cry for being, for feeling less than someone else. It's not like I won't ever feel that everrrr againnnn. But, when I do, I hope I'll be able, and that you'll be able to appreciate that there are some happy aspects of you and your life you find that only you can really experience. No one else. But you.
Your girl,
Ngoc
P.s. Gosh, thank you for making it this far! I hope I've made your day a little and at the very least, entertained you for a few minutes. Which is good too! ^_^
Random link to a random happy place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZkRtNgb7Vw
(as for the link, skip to 1:03:30. I find that it's a pretty relevant song ;))
This is episode 25. I am 1/4 done with my intended journey of... 100 episodes!
In today's episode, as special as any other, we are going to celebrate ourselves in the best way that we can: by writing a blog episode about it, of course. ^_^
(lolol I'm bad at transitions, againnnnn) Very recently... wait, no, I think... for a very long time, I've felt less than myself. This very real inferior complex that has driven me mad, that continues to hurt me. Gosh, just the thought of feeling less than someone else because of their amazing accomplishments or who they are or how they look or where they've been: I've let that all get to me. Because I keep comparing who I am to who others are around me, I've unknowingly hurt myself. It's been a painful experience, and well, it is painful. And it's something I still have and will probably continue to feel unless I start appreciating myself for who I am already. *sigh*
Here's the story. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine (Ana~) who had read an earlier "rant" on this very blog reached out to me, saying and reaching my heart with the kindest encouragements. Except, she and I aren't extremely close friends, but somehow years of knowing each other can make it easy for her to reach out to me and I to her... to just be kind. She tried to instill in me my own sense of self-love. In fact, she pushed for it when she said I shouldn't be comparing myself to others when I'm perfect as I am. Not, heh, perfect as in the actual definition, but perfect as in, I'm the most perfect Ngoc there is, because I am the only Ngoc.
This is a pretty cliche lesson isn't it?
But the point is, I shouldn't be feeling less than myself, when I am myself. I shouldn't be feeling sorry for being who I am, for having experienced what I've experienced. And sure, I'm human and you're human. That would mean we'd both have regrets we can't forget or have negatively affected us and maybe, maybe sometimes you'd feel those experiences have made you a lesser person. Maybe sometimes, you would stop and wonder who you'd be if you did this or did that, but ultimately, those decisions are in the past. They've already been made. And you are who you are already. You are who you choose to be with every decision you make but don't let that be your make-or-break factor.
Because the make-or-break factor is this: you're at the very least happy with something in your life. There's something good about it. This thing doesn't have to be big even; it can be super small too. Like, personally, what I really like about being me is the fact that my Grandma makes the most awesome salty, dried chicken shreds to eat with rice, ever! What I also really like about being me are my offensively thick calves. Like... wow. They are thickkk calves. But I love them, because I like to think that if we're in some apocalypse, I have at least a little bit more than my younger sister to snack on. ;P
Honestly, just pause here for a bit to give yourself some love. Give yourself a pat on the back for even visiting this blog. Do it! Now give yourself a high-five for being you. ^_^ *high fiveeeeee*
I'm not saying that I'll ever be able to stop comparing myself to others, because there are no such things as absolutes when it comes to our constantly-evolving selves -- yadidadada-- However, what is true is that I'm willing to do all I can, drawing inspiration and motivation and self-love from others around me, to simply appreciate myself. Appreciate that while I may not have the most accomplished or have the most stellar-looking resume or have the biggest dreams a girl can have or be the most beautiful, I am Ngoc. And I really appreciate myself. I've got through a lot in my life. I've been through a lot. There are, of course, moments when I made cringey decisions. There are moments when I've made a fool of myself. There are times when I could have done better for the people around me, people I dearly love. There are many times in my life when I could have appreciated others more. There were, gosh, so many moments where I wanted to cry for being, for feeling less than someone else. It's not like I won't ever feel that everrrr againnnn. But, when I do, I hope I'll be able, and that you'll be able to appreciate that there are some happy aspects of you and your life you find that only you can really experience. No one else. But you.
Your girl,
Ngoc
P.s. Gosh, thank you for making it this far! I hope I've made your day a little and at the very least, entertained you for a few minutes. Which is good too! ^_^
Random link to a random happy place: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZkRtNgb7Vw
(as for the link, skip to 1:03:30. I find that it's a pretty relevant song ;))
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