(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 21 - Make a List to Save Your Life

Hey readers.

Haha, yeap! Another podcast!

Link below shall take you there my friends. :)

Enjoy! And Merry CHRISTMAS!!

https://youtu.be/RfRNe7zPrh8

Your favorite girl,

Ngoc :)

P.s. I just want to say thank you Luce for saying, "Why should I edit your blog when it's your blog?" Because, wow, you're right, it is and you don't have no idea how much that meant to me when you said that. And thank you to everyone and anyone who has always clicked on my blog, read it, or listened to it. You motivate me by just being here.

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 20 - Love Yourself

Hello there!

I would like to dedicate this episode to a few (maybe more than a few) people just from the fact that they’ve supported these episodes in very simple but very meaningful ways. They shall be found in the P.S. section because, gosh, if I actually start this episode mentioning them, I would not be able to stop. *sigh*

So! This is episode 20 and the fact that I’ve made it this far, with 80 more episodes to go before I die, we are going to celebrate by covering a very important idea that I believe we all need to learn and embrace as people.

I’m going to start with the simple statement that I love myself. Haha. Yeap. I do.

I love myself for a lot of reasons. I am alive. I have emotions. I’m young and naïve and inexperienced. I’m not a total idiot. I’m not a total smartypants. I have people that love me and I have people I love. There will be times when I feel weak and times when I need to be strong. I am human. And I will die one day so if and when I lie in my deathbed with the realization that I never truly appreciated the life I had, that I never appreciated me, the one that’s living this life in the first place, then I hadn’t really lived.

It took me all of the past two months to realize this during the period of time that I got to meet a wonderful person, a wonderful friend. As time passed and as I spent more and more time with him, I began to realize that my happiness gradually became dependent on him. Whether he replied to my text yet or whether he was as interested in my company as I was in his, the gradual growth in how dependent my happiness was on him scared me. Not only that but the words he would say would affect me so much. It would affect my mood to either unexpectedly high or low levels. It was… it was pathetic. I became pathetic. And my patheticness made me realize, “Ngoc. There’s more to this. More to why this dependency is freaking you out.” And there was a reason.

What I haven’t told you so far is that I would compulsively search for words from him that would make me feel better. I would look to him for reassurance of my own insecurities, my emotions, who I am, and each time that he did say something along those lines, it would make my heart swell in happiness but then after, after the high of it wore off, I began to feel empty again as if I needed to be refilled. As if I couldn’t get enough of the reassurance he gave me and then this feeling grew to a hunger almost. And it was this hunger that snapped me out of this cycle because I realized I needed to be my own source of reassurance. I needed to be strong on my own and stop outsourcing the food to feed my own self-esteem and strength. So that made me wonder: Why wasn’t I able to do that for myself? Why are my emotions, why is my happiness, so dependent on this person? Why can’t I be my own source of happiness? And what is this emotional dependency really saying about me?

It took plenty of self-reflection but the short of it is, I lacked a sufficient amount of self-love. Yeah. I know. Cheesy. But I wished I had known this sooner. I wished I had known that I was amazing already in my own right and while it is wonderful to be verbally reassured of my own awesomeness all the time, it’d be even better if I can do that on my own.

So…. what does self-love even mean you wonder (or not, because well, its name is self-explanatory ahah)?

Self-love means that you’re able to feed yourself despite whatever happens around you. You’re able to feed your own esteem and power and strength just through the simple act of appreciating yourself, your weaknesses, your strengths, your mistakes, your past, present, future, all that make you who you are. Self-love is simply appreciating you, living every day by celebrating your own existence, and realizing that while you aren’t perfect and probably make a huge amount of mistakes that you don’t even want to mention because if you do you’ll burst into a million shards of emotional instability, you are you. And by just being you, by living as you, and by being here in this moment doing whatever you’re doing, that is enough. There is no need to prove yourself to anyone right now. The only person you should be proving yourself to is, you guessed it my friends, you. Because at the end of the day, after everything is done and you turn off all the lights in the house and head for bed from a whole day of work and worth, you’re going to lie yourself down and look into this vast expanse of darkness around you, realizing that in the end, even the end of a day, all you really have is yourself. When you close your eyes and begin to even out your breath to head to the realm of dreams, all you have is yourself, this body that’s putting weight on the mattress, this mind that thought of thoughts and ran a million miles of information that day, this heart that beat to keep you alive and the same heart that you metaphorically use to care and love the important people in your life. You have all that and more. And that is us. We are both flesh and bone and mind and heart. And it’s about time we appreciate that. Give yourself a break and freaking love yourself. We both know you’re not perfect, but we also both know that you’re here right now, alive (or not??) and living and breathing and thinking and loving and that’s beautiful. That’s all that matters. Just know that.

Know that for me.

I warn you though. Self-love, self-appreciation, call it what you will, isn’t something you can achieve overnight. It’s a process and that means it’ll take time. You’ll need time to reflect on who you are. But if you’re the type of person that can achieve it overnight, that’s amazing (!). For everyone else, myself included, it takes time, plenty of time and silence for that self-reflection. And I have full faith that you can achieve it. Because the fact that you’re here, reading this, means something. You’re well on your well there already.

Thank you for being here this evening or morning or afternoon and reading this. I bid you the best of luck and love. 

Your most optimistic friend <3,

Ngoc

P.S. And the list of my wonderful supporters...

Luce. Thank you for… gosh, you’ve been here from the start and the art you’ve done for a few of my episodes. Constantly checking up on me via status and wondering when my next episode will post. All of these little things add up and always make my day. The list goes on probably the longest for you. And not to mention the latest “hack” you did to Episode 15 which touched my heart and… the little ways you’ve looked out for me and others. Thank you for all of that. Just, thank you.

Daanish. I have no idea if you’re still supporting these episodes but you seem to still scream “blog” at me and yeap, you were there from the start as well, constantly encouraging this baby out of me. Thank you son.

Hasan. The latest supporter who tried to convert me to Weebly, ready to help me understand Weebly but as it turns out, no amount of help can convert me, at least not yet. Hah. But thank you buddy.

Yen. Thank you my little baby poo. You’ve never exactly supported me but thank you for being alive and cheering me on before you head for bed. Thank you for being absolutely adorable even though you’re past the age when it’s not even legal to consider you that, but you shall always be my shiny little poop child. (Don’t hurt me.)

Angeleana. Thank you for liking all my blog posts on Facebook. It means a lot to me actually. More than I’m comfortable admitting. 😊

And my buddy child. Thank you for being a wonderful friend these past two months and two days. Because while it may seem like this whole post was attacking you in a sense, our friendship has helped me evolve into (hopefully) someone better, someone stronger. Because “to me, there was never a question at all.”

P.P.S. I started this blog 7 months ago with the intent of it being basic life updates on my life and how that ties in with living and being human. And then in May, with the stubborn intent of updating this every 2 to 3 days and here I am, 7 months later updating once a month. While the difference in that interval is humongous, my passion and drive to do this exists still. 100 episodes before I die, remember? Let's go. 

(Just life with Ngoc): Episode 19 - How to Make Choices that Fulfill Your Life

Heya people,

It's Ngoc here. Another episode! Yay! Let's go through this together. :)

https://youtu.be/sMyrqTDsKZM

Your most optimistic girl,

Ngoc

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 18 - How to Mend Our Broken Pieces

Heya there! 

This is your girl Ngoc with a pretty personal episode. 

We'll be talking about how to fix the relationships that matter in our lives, however, nothing new here, because all you really need is a lot of courage and strength to face your own complications. 

With that said, I hope you enjoy this episode (though I kind of doubt you'd visit the link because I kind of gave away too much now, but still click the link because it's good stuff that I put a lot of effort into and you'd regret not listening to it)!

https://youtu.be/TCL9TFLP7l4

Your favorite girl,

Ngoc

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 17 - GPS and Rock Bottoms

Hey people!

Here's my latest episode. Enjoy!

https://youtu.be/iqY--FVt5aM

I'm sorry it's mostly podcasts, but they're a lot more fun to do and a lot more time wasting than I'd like, but definitely worth it to capture my emotions and verbal clues of myself. 

I'm learning a lot more about myself as I do these, so, uh, enjoy!

Your girl,

Ngoc

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 16 - How to Not Tell Someone You Hate Them

DEAR PEOPLE,

Yes, I've been seriously inconsistent with these posts. I know.
But lucky you, here is episode 16! YAY!!

https://youtu.be/2S64Zvhwm2A

And guess what? This time it's a video with visuals. :O VISUALS.
No make-up. Zilch. This is me at me best and worst ranting about someone I seriously hate, because THIS is how to not tell someone you hate them.

Have a great last three weeks of summer! Next video will be uploaded before this week is over.

My last words of advice before this summer is over is to live life with a plan, with openness, with people, and with a challenge. Good luck.


The girl you kind of wished you didn't know,
Ngoc


P.S. Forgive my looks. This is what I was born with. Don't blame me for how ugly I am. Blame my parents. x'D

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 15 - Fearsome Branch Cutting Machines (Not Another Sucky Podcast I Promise)

Heya there!

It's your girl Ngoc with episode 15. Yay. First off, thank god it's not another sucky podcast, but I'll do podcasts when there's really something special, something I need to put voice and emotion in to be really worth the 8 to 10 minutes you're taking out of your day. Get me? Good. :)

Okay. Well, you know how a blog comes and goes. Here goes. Today we’re going to give a (semi-short) look into the art of taste testing your fears and why you should get into it too.

So let me tell you. About a week ago, under a hot Houston summer noon, my Dad told me, “I’m going to need you to chop these branches up (with this moving blade machine thing that was just a loud reckoning and as a coward, I would never have even looked twice at or considered using).” And it was after the physical act of using this scary machine on my own, with all ten fingers and two palms over and over again for half an hour that I realized, “I can now chop all of these freaking branches unfazed. Thank the gods.” It’s crazy but once you’re pushed into a scary situation that makes you think ‘a’ “I don’t want to do this” and ‘b’ that “I can’t do this because it’s just too crazy,” it is no longer crazy after you’ve done it and you’re still alive unharmed. Because there was one thing I knew for sure; if my Dad could do it so easily with his gout and aching back, why can’t I? The only difference between me and him right now is experience. He’s clearly been doing it more often than I, but after 30 minutes of doing it on my own with some advice on his part, I did it amid my equally crazy thoughts. I did it for sooo long that it wasn’t crazy anymore, until fear was the last thing on my mind, until my body knew what was happening when I didn’t and my mind kind of loved it.

What’s the theme here then? You've never tried the things that have been self-labeled as borderline scary and crazy because fear held you back. Guess what? I'm here to tell otherwise. I'm here to tell you that you sooo can. It’s nothing you can’t handle. If someone else can do it, there’s no excuse you can’t either. And it’s with this mindset that will set  apart the past you from the future you, from others who haven’t learned to taste new things. Set yourself apart from your own fears. Try them. Taste them. These things you’ve never done before, at least experience it for yourself if you’ll like it or not and prove to yourself that you can. If you find you don’t, then back out. At least you know now, am I right? No regrets. But if you find you do, run straight into it. No regrets. Never regrets.

While it’s a fact that you’ve never chopped branches with a fearsome machine, it’s not yet a fact that you can’t.

Do it.

Try it.

Hate it.

Love it.

Know that you can.

The Best Thing That Happened to You,

Ngoc

P.S. It's really been three episodes in the past 2 months of summer which I actually thought I'd be really productive in. Too bad. But I promised myself 100 episodes before I die. I can't die before then. We're... 1/7 there. Let's do this. (No I'm not suicidal. Don't worry ye cheeky ones.)

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 14 - This Wild Blue Yonder

HEYA READERS now LISTENERS,

First off, all of you probably think I'm crazy continuing this mess of a blog that now uploads at unexpected times due to something called the summer lazy blues + summer reading homework. Forgive my soul.

However, I'm here again to disappoint you with yet another episode to keep this blog alive because in all honesty, I love this blog. I love talking about things I know much about. But the main goal of this is to help those out there that are going through what I'M going through because that means I've done SOMETHING you know? Well... the few that visit this blog anyway. Kudos to all of you that do. Lord, I love y'all to death. (heh. My only source of advertising is through Facebook. heh.) But you know what? What the heck, let's do this. I've worked too hard and I've gone too far to go back. Heck, I'm going to have one hundred episodes in before I die. Let's do this people.

Here's the link to this week's episode which refocuses on this idea of fear from last week's episode, but more specifically, a fear of the wild blue yonder. I hope you'll enjoy! <3

https://youtu.be/aTVNJL-ADuI

Your girl,
Ngoc

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 13 - Our Fears

Dear readers/listeners,

It's Ngoc here. The link below shall send you there. No questions asked. Let's talk about fears shall we?

https://youtu.be/QBODWcnSkzM

Your friend,

Ngoc

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 12 - Hugs are Awesome!

Ayaaaa readers!

Oh gosh. This link shall send you to a video of just my voice... preaching about hugs through a short story. If that sounds misleading, it isn't. (I mean, it's summer. You've got zilch to do ey? So why not click on the link anyways? :D)

https://youtu.be/sLcSKj7o68s

Your girl,
Ngoc <3

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 11 - Sweet Georgia the CPR Mannequin

Hello ye kindred spirits,

https://youtu.be/g-kOmJXG7GE

Today's episode will be a podcast-like thing. This link will send you to a 10 minute audio video for you to listen to! Enjoy! (This is all new to me.) x'D 

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 10 - Tarte Aux Pommes

Dear readers,

Heya, how are ya? It's been a long week with few updates eh? But I DID update this past Thursday - Episode 9, and if you missed THAT rare meme-full episode, I don't know what else to tell you. You missed out. You missed out on my meme queen skills. SHAME. ON. YOU.

And guess what? It's episode 10!!!!!!!!!! LIKE, WOW. I never thought this day would come. I just wrote so much that it didn't feel like a chore. It felt like... MAGIC.

Let's make some magic today shall we? Today's episode will feature exactly that: magic. And the warmth it leaves behind.

First off, let me just say that magic itself is a magical word. It has many connotations. It brings many good, freaking good feelings. And that's fantastic. Well. Here's a secret.  Magic DID happen to me in the form of friendship people. FRIENDSHIP. Le magic of friendship. It happened yesterday. It felt like flying, like you didn't want it to stop. (I sound like a friendless hobo at this point. I'm sorry.) I was at a friend's house. Making yet another cheesy French project. In a cute little cozy room with an equally cozy bed (to lie back and talk duh). The company of two others. Two great people. The way that nice kitchen gleamed with all the ingredients laid out upon it and the utensils powdered in flour. The way that we all talked, unafraid, letting go. No fear to stop us now. No walls to remind us that someone unwanted was listening in. We were just as we were. Three teenagers, baking an apple pie for a french project. Our last French project. I want more French projects. I do. I really do. I want a million French projects to have an excuse to come back to that house, and be just as we were. Three teenagers. Three of us. I think I just cried a little. I think I just cried. Lord. Because, because I have this sinking feeling like that was the last time, the last time I'll experience something like that again. Because there are no french projects to have an excuse to come back. No more French projects... Um... I... I sound like a total hippy. Like a person who's never experienced real friendship before or something, and perhaps that's true. Perhaps that's the truest thing I've ever said in my life, but when it... when it feels so natural, like a perfect fit among people like that, I can't hold back. I want to live like that forever. Why CAN'T I live like that forever? I don't know. I'm just a girl. I don't know. But I DO know that, I... I want to live like that forever.

Okay, update. A FREAKING TEAR JUST FELL. I NEVER THOUGHT THIS POST WOULD BE SO SERIOUS. I'M SO SORRY. FORGIVE MY SOUL. YOU CAN STOP HERE IF YOU WANT. IT'S FINE.

Three teenagers laughing. Cooking. Filming. Talking. Gossiping. Different walks of life. Different stories yet so similar. So similar. It was just... so warm to be in that moment. To be in that little kitchen. My heart. I've never yearned whilst crying for something before. But I am now. AND I WANT TO RETURN TO THAT MOMENT ALL OVER AGAIN. I DO. I WANT TO BE THERE. SOMEONE WITH MAGIC CAN GO AHEAD AND CAGE ME IN THAT ROOM WITH THOSE TWO OTHERS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND I'D BE FINE. I'D BE HAPPY. It just felt so natural to be together. I still feel this warmth. My heart, it's still warm. Have you ever felt something like that before? Where at the thought of a moment, any moment, made your heart warm? Warm from remembering a specific happiness? I know I'm being overdramatic about this. I really am. But... sometimes, being overdramatic about an experience is doing that moment justice. And justice is exactly what that special moment needs. Because maybe it might seem over dramatic to you, my little grasshopper readers, but it wasn't to me. Remember, it's "just life with Ngoc?" x'D And this is through my eyes. This is life, through Ngoc's eyes. And... she saw amazing things that Friday night. The night where so many were Asian banqueting. A Friday night that Katy Perry already wrote a song for except without the implied sex or drinking minors. An evening of cooking and connection. I saw so many strings that tied me to the others. So many strings. Many wonderful strings.

Perhaps to the two others, the two great people I spent that evening with, cooking food for a French project was probably no big deal. It was probably just some good fun. Something that can be looked back fondly and forgotten as time went on or they experience it so often that they're unfazed about the whole experience. I have no idea. But perhaps... perhaps they too felt the exact things I did. Perhaps I'm not only telling MY version, but I'm telling THEIR version too. But that's a maybe. And if you're reading this, my two good friends, I loved every moment of it. I've practically been a sore loner AND loser all my life. Caged by my own parents and blind to the wonders of life that at just the littlest things, I freak. When you've been locked for practically all your life, you will become blinded by the wondrous light called friendship and heart rates and warmth and cooking apple pies that had hands in them. Literally.

*sigh*

Magic. All of that evening, that Friday evening. It was magic. And, I shall remember it forever. Because if I'm crying right now. If my heart aches. IF my heart yearns for that again. IF I want it so badly that I'd try to blackmail my friend to inviting us over again (I haven't, but I probably should.). If... I... If my heart is burning and yearning and wishing for that once more. Then I must be missing them. This is what it means and feels to miss something for the first time in my life. I'm missing. I'm missing the whole darn experience, the people, the warmth, that moment. I miss it. I miss it so bad, and there are just no words. No words to explain. Yet here I am before you all... -_-

LORD. THAT EVENING WAS SO FUN. I WANT THAT AGAIN. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO SAY BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON, I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AN ANALYTICAL ESSAY FROM JUST ONE SIMPLE IDEA. WOW. I AM AMAZING. AND I NEED HELP.

AND OH MY GOD. I AM SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. TOO LATE. TOO BAD. My Mom just laughed at me for crying about friendship. And it's Mother's Day. Wow. How ironic. How dearly ironic. (You're welcome, Mom.)

Well, happy Mother's Day everyone!

This was Ngoc reporting on how it feels like to miss something. The perks of being a teenager. x'DDD


Your girl,
Drama Queen Ngoc who feels the warmth, who feels the love

(jUST lIFE WITH nGOC): ePISODE 9: iT's oVER. eXAMS aRE oVER.

*huff huff huff puff puff huff*

AP EXAMSSSSSS. GLAD THAT GODFORSAKEN PRACTICE IS OVER WITH. WHEW.

LET'S JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATHE FOR A BIT. CUZ, MY GOD, THAT'S OVER.

267 days ago?? We've been swimming in the deep end for far too long. We jumped in the beginning thinking it'll be inspirational, interesting, and perhaps, FUN, until we realized we shouldn't and couldn't stop, because there was no way of getting out of that pool. There were no side ladders to get out. And we were all so drained, we couldn't even lift ourselves out of it either. (Christen and Penny gave us a few "floaties" on the way, and I can bravely say that I've barely lived this whole year with or sans floaties.) But here I am. Here you are. Look, can I just meme through the rest of this post? I can't write anything too serious for fear of breaking into a million little uneven bloody pieces. Here we go.

Here was my life all throughout this week...

...

How I studied for exams, honestly.



Best wishes... Best wishes... (Pretend Chemistry is World History)


What you tell yourself before the exam...


DAY OF TEST.








At the writing portion of the test...


Your feelings during test...


(My Dad when I explain to him what AP testing is... x'D)



After le test...







When you get home..




BUT GUESS WHAT? WE'VE GONE THROUGH HELL AND BACK FOR THE GOOD STUFF AFTER. IT'S LIKE EATING THE CRUST AND THEN GETTING TO THE CENTER OF THE BREAD. <3 WE STILL HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.... THE FUTURE.........




This man says this best. It practically sums up our lives. x'D


BUT GUESS WHAT MY DAD WOULD SAY??... *sigh*


But ayhyyy, you and I get to be on the receiving end of this one day... In approximately 2 weeks!! :D


Or BOY. I'm not sexist here. :P



Your girl,
Ngoc the Meme Queen

P.S. Memes are da bombbbb. Real posts coming soon about life after two more weeks of finals. Don't worry! <3 Next update for episode 10 will be Saturday evening 5/13, okay? <3 2 days from nowwwww.. WOOOOTTTT

HOPED YOU LIKE DEM DANK MEMES.

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 8 - Your Beating Heart

Hello humans.

This episode will LITERALLY, like, LITERALLY be about our hearts. The physical ones in our chests. No, this episode won't be about romantics. But perhaps... it can be about love, just, in another way. It's going to be a short one! So... no need to get comfy. ^_^ Let's dive right in. I warn you though. This one's going to be a meh, post. -_-

Sad story short...

I’ve been sick for the last three days, constantly coughing. Like, every time I cough, especially towards the end of today, my throat would exponentially hurt more. It would hurt so much that I’d have to place my hand over my collarbone, as if it were fragile and it’d break into a bunch of messed up pieces if I didn’t hold it together. And as I did that, I can feel my pulse, right there between my collarbones. There was a pulse and it was there. Beating and constant. I guess, it just occurred to me that I have a beating heart. Sure, I mean, don’t we all? We all know that we have a heart and everything. But do we REALLY know? Gosh, that probably sounds absurd. Okay. Let me show you then in the hopes that you'll probably come to the same type of enlightenment.

Do as I say. Press two of your fingers against that hollow space between your collar bones. And hold it there for 5 seconds. (pauseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

Okay, good. Now you see? Do you see how your heart, has never stopped beating? Not once so far, in your life? It's basically one of the most vital organs in your body, perhaps the first one you ever learned about in school. It does the service of keeping you alive. Of keeping you here. When you’re sleeping, when you’re staying up, when you’re exercising, reading, every day, every hour minute second, it’s always been there. Like, I JUST realized that, and if you’re like me, you probably did too. ^_^

You know what that means? I mean, sure, you’ve probably grasped this by now, but that beating heart you have? That’s always going to beat until the end of your days. Throughout your entire mortal life, that thing will beat. While the world around you holds no promise, your heart does, (well, except if you have like Type 2 Diabetes or cardiovascular disease, your heart holds no promise, but it’s beating now isn’t it?). And as you’re reading this episode. This nonsensical episode, your heart is inside you, drumming on in a rhythm.

You finally see what I mean now? (Hopefully) you do. Great!

This is absolutely subjective, but an aspect to living happily means to embrace what you already have and realize that you are grateful for it. And in this scenario, it can be as simple as that beating heart of yours. 

Alright. Bear with me now. So by understanding and seeing exactly what you have in front of you, already on your table, on your plate… you recognize that living is experiencing life with what you already have, not with what you do not have. You can’t ride a bike without having or borrowing one. You can’t play cards when you don’t have any to begin with. And for things that you do not have. Things that would undoubtedly make you indefinitely happy until the end of your days (because it better), I encourage you to go out there and get them. So that they can be a part of your life.

So that you can ride a bike because you already have (or borrowed) (or stolen) one. (Depends on the situation. ^_^)

Isn’t it kind of cool that every one of us has things or people that help take care of us or make our lives a lot easier? That have been around without our realizing it? In my case, it was realizing that I had a freaking heart, something so crucial and yet so often overlooked.

And I hope the same goes for you. I hope you realize that there are many upon many things like the blood in your body or that nice toilet you have and people like your parents or your bus driver that make your life your life, that make life more colorful, have more meaning, have more love. More of everything.

So put out some time today. Give yourself one minute. Just ONE freaking minute to stop and think about the people and the things that you appreciate. Do that and thank me later. You’ll feel a lot fuller because of it. You’ll feel satisfied. And perhaps just that alone, the act of self-reflection in that one minute, can quench your thirst for more and more when you already have all that you want right here and right now. In this moment.

This was Ngoc Nguyen reporting about the situation of hearts and cardiovascular disease and their effects on a person’s relative amount of life satisfaction. Good day, people. J

Your Girl with the beating heart,

Bloody Amazing Ngoc

P.S. I just realized something. The number of views for my love life episode was double that of all my other episodes. Haha, wow. You guys are more interested in my love life than what I have to say about 2 spices and parmesan, priorities, and what other nonsense I have here on my Blog. You guys just LOVE that stuff don't you? x'D Sadly, my love life shan't advance. It probably stops here actually, but don't feel bad! We've got college too. Don't worry!  ^_^ *fingers crossed* 

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 7.5 - Total Nonsense: Episode 7's After Party WITH SABA

Dear readers, you!

You guys are in for a treat this week. While this post may lack any real drama and boy talk, we are still talking about relationships. So I stop here. The rest of the post will be a combination of our voices. Her name? Saba. (not her real name, remaining anon.)  

Saba’s long rant *sigh*: Honestly I only have ½ of a relationship to share and even then that was a cringe middle school memory. Lesson learned: DON'T GET INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE THAT HAVE 23787823 EX-GIRLFRIENDS. If this person knows who he is and is reading this (N: don’t worry, he isn’t. My blog is THAT bad.) , you were(n't) bad. I mean, I probably did have mutual feelings?? (I’m capable of emotions????what???? ) Anyway an explanation for him: I think I’ve recently found out I’m demisexual (meaning it’s hard for me to feel emotional attachments, romantically)

N: My lord, we’re already in like, a quarter into this and I’ve realized all of this is entirely about drama and boy talk and sending messages to our "ex-lovers" via blog for the just in case situation. x'D I’ve basically lied to everybody in that intro paragraph. Consider this the first time I’ve ever lied to ye faithful readers. BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING LESBIANS SABA? WEREN’T WE A THINGGGGG?!!?

S: Sorry Ngoc, I don't see you in that way.

N: TOO BAD. :( You're missing out honey.

S: & Second lesson learned: Stop worrying too much about relationships. Like we’re all a bunch of stupid teenagers. Lol.

@Ngoc - even if that guy did say he liked you back, then what? Nothing really would have happened, right?

N: @Saba - yes ma’am. I would’ve ran away either way. But Saba, you’ve got booty. You don’t need to run away.

S: Girl the guy I mentioned above confessed to me and gave me a rose and I just looked at him LOL.

N: OH MY GOD. FOR REAL!? DAYUM. I was basically in his place. x’DDD Sans rose. GOTTA GO NOW. GOTTA GO CHANGE OUT OF PE CLOTHES.

S: Wow this makes me realize how crappy a person I am…..

N: You aren’t. If anything, explain to the audience why the hell you and him weren’t a thing. This is the public domain. Might as well have a sexy reason why you said “Naw.”

Continual of Saba’s (sexy) rant: LOL. Because a friend of mine liked him. But tbh that wasn’t the only reason. I kinda forgot.  

But let's talk about the real issue here:

Worrying about the future. Honestly I worry too much. Personal goal for junior year: live a little. Like I would enjoy going out with my friends once a week.

Here's my bucket list for the summer

• Get my drivers license #1
• Get that summer body *wink wank wonk*
• Lmao that not happening

Ok idk where this is going

Most importantly probably raise my self esteem bc my algebra 2 teacher is not doing that for me. He HIGHkey has kim jong un’s hair cut.

N: That man. Smh.

S: MY MIND IS EVERYWHERE LOL

PEACE OUT

SABA

N: And that was Saba for you. (But honest to god. If Saba were a dude though, if she were a dude, I WOULD HAVE SANG HER SONNETS IN THE MOONLIGHT AND ADVANCED ON HER LIKE A KITTY. BUT NOOOOOO. She just HAD to be born a female child.) x’D Well, I guess this episode was probably for me to have a fun conversation with Saba here, but ayyy, I hope you guys enjoyed something frivolous and perhaps borderline easy going here after that sad and overly dramatic episode 7. I really am sorry for being so… serious for that episode but, it was late. Who am I to be blamed, eh? Anyways, I guess this conversation, if you’ve grasped anything, serves to show one of two things. Girls are crazy at this age, the age of hormonal disruption. And second, vent all that you are with a good friend sometime. It's really fun. It's just really fun to look back and laugh at yourself with someone that's close to you. Someone you trust. x'D I mean, you've witnessed THIS much, am I right? Why not vent all out, like a... like an... air conditioner.

*insert that drum noise where a bad joke was made*

PEACE OUT

NGOC + SABA


P.S. All three episodes have been back to back for some odd reason. I guess, tons of good stuff to write have just poured in, ending with THIS episode. Don't worry. No more lovey dovey stuff from inexperienced moi in the future if I can stop myself. Future episodes will be focused on advice and real life. And with that said, we are now back on schedule, with a new episode every two to three days or perhaps consecutively if I can't help myself.

Do expect an episode this FRIDAY! Stay tuned my little chickens...

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 7 - My Love Life and Prasha's Wise Words

Hey y'all!

It's your girl Ngoc with a weird episode this week. This one's going to be super super personal because it's... just life except this time, it's mine. My freaking life. And I feel the need to write about it. You'll see... The few people that are able to relate to this episode will be surprised I have any insight into this at all. Haha, but I do. *DUN DUN DUNNN*

So the title has you bugged... what were Prasha's Wise Words?

Okay, I'll try to condense this story as much as I can. And you're going to laugh at me. You're going to think, "Wow, Ngoc. You did WHAT?" But if you've been following these episodes at all, you probably saw a pattern. A sick pattern son.

Keep in mind though, there is a reason that I'm exposing so much of myself via Blogger. You'll see. Now get comfy. This one is also going to be a long donkey one. Perhaps the longest post in Ngoc history here. (I insist, GET COMFY)....

Once upon a two months ago, I did something absolutely stupid and spontaneous or absolutely courageous. I still can't tell which from which. I'm hoping it's on the side of courageous here. -_- Anyways, I confessed to this guy. (And if you, yes, you, happen to be "the guy" I'm talking about. I have no idea if you follow this crappy and messed-up blog, but if you do and you happen to be reading this, give me a thumbs up or some type of sign that you read this post at all and let's have a conversation sometime about perhaps, being friends. And I'm sorry that it had to be you, son. I really am.) Lord. THAT was something out of a Korean drama. Okay, moving on. I confessed to this guy in the least romantic way possible. Over text. LIKE WHAT THE FREAKS. And not only that, I thought it was okay to confess to someone I barely knew. We only had a one and a half hour conversation whilst projecting that evening, but it was LIT. It was one of those conversations that you just had a hell lot of fun from, with no bad memories. And mind you, but it had been a bloody long time, like, a whole year, since I've done anything bordering "fun" or maintained such a carefree conversation like the one I had with said-guy. (Tips to the guys here. This is one way to get the girl. x'DDD) Hence, with my heart stolen by a one and a half hour freaking conversation, I did what any girl in her sleepiest and least logical state of mind would do on the weekend of the very same week...

... She did it. She confessed....

But let me defend myself! I've been watching Korean dramas for years, and this was like the first time in my life that I've done anything close to that stupid word, "romantic." I honestly just wanted to try it out. See how it felt to confess. If anything was different. If I got wiser or more logical or more experienced. Being a teenager and all, I just wanted to explore and try things out and be... WISER. BUT APPARENTLY NOT. Haha, no, I wasn't looking for a relationship. It was just to try, honey buns. Not all confessions are in the name of relationships, people. But goddamn it. Had I not done that, perhaps I would have been able to be friends with the cool guy. That short little confession thingy on my phone ruined all prospects of that and my dodging from the guy didn't help either, literally running away sometimes. My lord. Ngoc, you pathetic little soul. Yes, yes I am. *sigh*



And you know what I thought at the time? "Oh, so I just confessed to him. I'll be over him in a jiffy. Watch meh." Apparently, that wasn't true either. For some odd reason, by confessing to him, I made it harder on myself to get over him. I created extra connections, extra invisible strings that didn't need to be there but were. Frankly, I just made things awkward, when it didn't have to be. Awkwardness was never my intention, it was an unexpected result. Not only that, but I was just, so self-conscious all the time, more aware, more awake whenever he was around. That happened for a while. And it sucked. It really did. Looking back, the last two months of my life would have been a lot easier if I hadn't done what I did. *sigh* And what irked me most was how much that confession got to me. Like, it dug deep. Like, if we're being honest here, I was probably the only one who even cared about any of this, sometimes even staying up later than I should, while he probably didn't have to do that, because well, no one stays up for Ngoc around here. The perks of young crushes! The perks of young hearts! Oh, ye beating heart! x'D Truth be told, I literally shivered every time in self-disgust when I remembered that moment. The moment that I wished never happened. -_-

But the thing is Ngoc, you DID do what you did. You can't change that. You can't change the past. But you can, you so freaking can, change the freaking future. Learn from your mistakes. (At least I made this mistake early and fresh and NOW rather than later in life when I'm like, 27 and have some big shot degree while my parents are pestering me to marry fast and quick in case I exponentially get old. x'D) Such a simple idea am I right? It took Prasha, a friend of mine, who simply went by and checked on me to see if I was okay via Google Hangouts for me to finally get the concept. Haha, the kid seemed genuinely worried about me and after a good long conversation with him, discussing all that we ever knew about liking a person in the short time we call "teenage years," he helped me come to that conclusion. The past is gone and done. The present and future, you can change. So change.

Well, people, I've let go. (Prasha. You've helped me let go. Thanks for coming by and being such a great friend. I feel like we'll have more episodes inspired by you, son.) Yes, I have. It feels liberating. And this idea of letting go, doesn't have to pertain to just a boy here. It applies to everything in your life. I mean, look around you. What do you see? What do you need? What do you already have that you absolutely love? And is there something you have, a connection to anyone or anything that seems to be holding you back? Like, honest to god, messing with you and holding you back. If there is, take my advice, yes, MY advice and let it go. Do it. If such a connection is hurting you in the first place, there's no need to keep it at all. So let it go. Just do it. And definitely be mentally prepared for that day, the day that you'll have to do it. Letting go of things that have been around for a while is definitely not an easy task, so mentally prepare in any way that you can. Trust me on that one too. Haha. For real though, trust me.

And so today, I stand before you. Newly made and whole and more awake, for different reasons this time. I FEEL GOOD.

So what was the reason that I even dared to share this much of my LIFE to the public domain?

As the same friend helped me realize, sometimes by saying something out loud or putting them out there, it will be true. It will be more real. More tangible. So if I put it out there that I've let go, then I've let go, for real.

But most importantly, and no one says this better than Tim O'Brien, "I realize it is as [Ngoc] trying to save [Ngoc]'s life with a story." And guess what? Cheesy ending, but she did!

*DUN DUN DUNNNN*

(I'VE JUST REALIZED HOW SERIOUS THIS ENTIRE POST WAS. FORGIVE MY SOUL. IT WAS LATE. I WRITE TOO MUCH WHEN IT'S LATE.)

Your favorite girl,
Ngoc with all her dark secrets out and about

P.S. Haha, Prasha, you never thought you'd be part of a title, but you are son. I made you Blogger famous. You deserve it. You totally deserve it.

P.P.S. Gosh, um, episode 7 already! As for updates, I'll try to get a new post every two to three days. Starting from today. Wish me luck as final exams loooommmmm. O_O

P.P.P.S. And if you are "the guy," do understand that while I truly do regret my confessing to you, I'm glad, and this sounds like I lost my virginity or something, but I'm definitely glad that it was you. At least, in my least logical state of mind, a bit of logical me was logical enough to see who did and who didn't deserve a confession de moi. Don't worry. I've never once hated you. Haha. And hopefully, this will be the last post I'll ever write about you, with good reason of course. And if you really have read this post, the last thing I'll say is this; thank you, for everything. I've learned a lot. Truly, thank you.

(Note to the reader: I am open to free consultations if a faithful reader of mine needs it. Feel free. Just comment below, I've got your back. HAHA. NO WAY. SORRY. I CAN'T. I CAN NEVER GIVE CONSULTATIONS. :P :P Like, for real, I CAN NOT give one on one help. But still do feel free to utilize any of my tips so far for easier days!)

The situations and events described in this episode are all true and results of said situations and events are only pertained to the author. Perhaps different results can occur after confessions depending on the person confessing and their unique circumstances. :) <3

(Just Life with Ngoc): Episode 6 - Our Priorities

Hello my little chickens,

It's your girl Ngoc. And yes. You've probably already noticed. Not only have I just called you guys little chickens, but I've also changed the title to "Just Life with Ngoc" because I realized that I'm not exactly teaching you guys anything. x'D Nothing new. I'm just... in a way restating what's already been in fine print from the beginning. So I've modified this blog to better fit my message. Being, just life. So feel free to comment below any topics you'd like me to cover. Appropriate topics that is. Freaking APPROPRIATE. Got it? Got it. Good.

So let's just, talk about life. Specifically for today's episode. Priorities.

Alrighty. Let's put this into context. Imagine yourself say torn between... Actually, none of you need context to understand what I'm getting at here. The context is already playing out in your lives. And you know it. Let's see....

Have you ever faced a dilemma where you feel a battle raging between what your head is screaming and what your heart is fighting for? Have you ever decided on an action that seemed like a good idea at first but turned out to be the worst idea in the history of... like... used old people diapers? Did the decision you make, the one not long ago or decades ago, seem to linger around and mess with your head? Are you sometimes angry at yourself for certain decisions? At the past you. At the present you. And perhaps, at the future you, fearful for the next decision you'll take action for? The next wrong decision that is. *DUN DUN DUNNNN*

Or... none of that has affected you at all which makes you a lucky person then. x'D *DUN DUN DUNNN*

But let me promise you this. Everyone of you, sometime later in your lives will see for yourselves that decisions have consequences. Some decisions were well chosen.

Some just weren't.

And so the consequences of that poorly made decision will follow you around like a sick pig. It'll linger around, perhaps laying waste to the entirety of your day or mess around with your mind until you experience both nausea AND vomiting or even haunt you for a long time until at the very thought of said-decision seems to fry the pit of your stomach. Perhaps it's not the decision that hurt you, it's the monsters that follow. 

So today, I present to you the solution of owning priorities. It'll help prevent you from making decisions you'll most likely REGRET. ^_^

You know, my life would be a lot easier if I had just taken out a piece of paper that day and written down them down. Perhaps I should even write them everyday, but the point is. The point is that while your decisions of the past and their lingering consequences can't and won't change, the one thing that stay absolute are your priorities. What's the connection you ask? By recognizing what is bloody important to you, you recognize that you don't have the ability to control every single aspect of your life. Instead, you understand that you do have the ability to choose your own rules. To choose how you run your life. Priorities are guidelines. They are the outline to your life plan so that whenever you feel you've strayed from what you truly want, from yourself as a person, your priorities are there, solidly and unmoving, to grab you back on track. The track that you chose in the very very beginning before you even ran it. 

It will certainly and most definitely be a life-saver for the little or huge decisions you make now and in the future so that you'll be... how can I say... less afraid of making the wrong decision. And more confident in going about in the world when you know exactly what you want and exactly what you are. That's what I like to call, BADASS. BE A FREAKING BADASS MAN. WITH FREAKING PRIORITIES.

So! I challenge you to grab an index card, your hand, or... toilet paper, whatever. Jot down your priorities in pen or permanent marker. This is serious business, so you'll need an equally serious writing utensil. x'D Jot down your priorities and perhaps, you'll be living with more of a purpose today than you did yesterday. Because you're living life now, except this time, with a plan. With a purpose. 

This was Ngoc reporting. Good day 'Merica!

Your favorite girl,

The Invincible and Bloody Fantastic Ngoc

P.S. I'll be writing less and less frequently as final exams loom closer. So stalk my status for updates! 

(Little Life Lessons with Ngoc): Episode 5 - One Bus + Great People + the Future = Magic

Dear readers, you!

It's your girl Ngoc. Writing from her famous hammock. But before we start, there's something you should know. So far, I've realized that the more episodes I write, the more personal and more intimate the relationship that you as the reader and I as the blogger will have. You guys are going to know a lot about me after this is all over, IF it ever ends that is. Because as the title states, it's "Little Life Lessons with Ngoc" (meaning that when my life is over, it won't be "life" lessons anymore... just saying.) So what that means is you're going to see me rant and vent and rant some more and cry maybe and put my life out there. Think of it as... maybe a sort of public diary. Where you are joining me and reading me whilst perhaps adding more insight into your own lives, whilst having me make your day a bit better or brighter (at least... I hope I'm able to do that), or you can just be reminded that living is a beautiful thing and that each passing day means adding more substance to your life as an entire experience per episode. :)

Um... Let me also say thank you for joining me in my journey of life and anonymously being a part of that. This episode, as you can probably already tell, is going to be really long. Prepare. Get comfy into your own imaginary hammock, and let's see what happens.

Alrighty. So the story starts here. Yesterday, I went with a group of great, fantastic people, specifically other Emerge students to Rice. We all had to stay on the first floor and like, wait there for exactly two hours for a bus to pick us up and take us to Rice. Um... it was a Thursday and all of us knew that we were sacrificing our time to go there. We were going to arrive back at the school around 9 pm and had tons to study for the very next day. It was a commitment that seemed, perhaps, worth it. During that two hour period, I got to let myself loose. It's been a freakishly long-donkey time since I've done that. School does that to you. Expectations and grades and numbers do that to you. It's sad. But hey. From 3:30 to 9 pm, I spent that time with great people. It was worth it. I mean, we're talking dance battles here. Freaking dance battles and one short game of ninja (that got awkward real fast when my face was inches away from this guy's chest. Not that I regret it. But it was def. awkward. x'D) and studying. And my god, it was just great to forget that homework and school existed while waiting in a school. That doesn't make sense, but it definitely does. :)

Once we arrived at the Rice campus, I was just speechless. This was basically the first time that I've ever visited a campus at all. Imagine yourself walking down such nice concrete sidewalks and crossing streets that looked very well paved. There were more sidewalks of gravel and sand and odd yet beautifully charismatic architecture. Guess what else I saw? LOTS OF LAMPPOSTS!!! I was literally gawking and taking pictures of a lamppost. Haha. ^_^ Now I'm going to transition you guys into a darker mood. This is the part where you should rock yourself on the hammock to feel better.

So the scene continues. I enter the stadium. The 340 Emerge seniors begin walking and each speaking into the microphone where they'll be going to for college. And it was a mesmerizing experience. You just find yourself constantly clapping for all 340 chaps. I mean, wow. And it just, makes you think. One day, you and I are going to be just like that. Entering the realm of newness and a lot of... growing up.

You see, the thing about being a teenager has everything to do with the fact that you ARE a teenager. You just.. you feel like a child that never wants to be an adult. And in a way, isn't everyone kind of like this? Being both child and adult. Pieces of both worlds combined. Sure as a teenager, it seems cool to marry and have kids and buy a house and live in it and pay taxes and mortgage and retire and then die. Not the dying part, but you can see what I'm getting at. While all of that sounds fantastic, I just, want to live without responsibilities, any real responsibilities for the rest of my life. I'm free now. I think I am. I think I'm free living as a teenager under her parents' wings that shield her 100% of the time. I love it like this. Being protected by others with no real need to protect myself. (Told you this was going to get somewhat depressing. Is your imaginary hammock still swinging?) I want it to be like this, forever. We all do. Somewhere inside of us, like deep, deeper than the pit of hell and rays of Helios combined we never want to grow up. I feel like this growing up thing should be episode 6 or something. *sigh* I'm sorry!

Turns out that this Rice trip has me thinking about two things.

The first is that sometimes you can unexpectedly spend your time with some great people who can take you places and have a grand time with. Especially the bus ride home from Rice where the whole bus was like, dark. And, the orange-ish lights that surrounded us from tall and elegant buildings that spiralled into the sky, from the lampposts lighting the sandy sidewalks against the night, and it was just wonderful. Being in complete darkness with great people, because I have this philosophy and bear with me: Riding a big yellow bus with great people at night = Magicalness. Haha. Yeah. Try it some time. I assure you. You'll feel this intense connection with everyone on that vehicle and begin to see that living means being with people and being with people means being connected. Invisible strings attached to one another. So try riding a big yellow bus at night, honey buns. x'D

The second thing is that one day, you and I, we have to come to terms with growing up and becoming a part of the world around us. Perhaps it's just me who's afraid. Perhaps we both are. But let's face it. Things that are bound to happen will happen. Growing up will happen. They will all happen. It's just you. And the world. And your supporting invisible army. Because whatever happens, happens and face it like a freaking warrior son.

The perks of living and breathing as a teenager. *sigh*

Thanks for tuning in for this tremendously long episode! This was Ngoc. Have a good day people!


Your Chubby Asian Girl,
Ngoc
(with editing help from my cute little sis. <3)

(Little Life Lessons with Ngoc): Episode 4 - Journey on the Road of Thanks

Dear people who understand that this isn't really an episode but read it anyway, you guys are weird people honestly, (x'D)

Let me first say this is an episode of thanks. So... It's just that. So, run away now if my thanks doesn't interest you. x'D

Warning: This entire episode may sound like advertising, but it’s really not. It’s not at all. Not to me at least. This is just to share a wonderful and almost high experience I had today. That’s all. J

And we continue…

Alors, I woke up this morning, ate breakfast, rushed my Dad faster to the bus stop, got on the bus, turned on my laptop for my daily upbeat and motivating soundtrack and apparently, my Google Hangouts tab was open. I found something absolutely wonderful that had me smiling all day. (Literally.) I had a friend. Not just any friend. A friend that, while we may not know absolutely everything about each other or share every single secret, was such a willing supporter for this mess I call a blog. Yes, she’s a she. J (Unni. Only you know who you are. X’D)

Do you know what she said?

She said that she was really happy I mentioned her in the P.S.S. section of episode 3 and that she’s been daily checking my blog for updates all the while including lots of emojis and lots of hearts (like the ones where you type in <3 and get a pink heart on Google Hangouts for those who have no idea what I just said ^_^). Not only that… SHE BOOKMOARKED MY BLOG AND READ MY BLOG AT 1 AM IN THE MORNING. *sigh* You know what happened to my heart? My real one? I think it grew like, 10 sizes in the old lady’s pants section. And perhaps more. X’D

A PERSON. A PERSON!! IS DAILY CHECKING MY BLOG/MESS FOR ANY UPDATES AND READS THEM AT THE MOST UNGODLY HOUR.

My LORD. I feel like it’s all worth it. Like, if just this one friend of mine, who is so vested into my blog and actually checks it daily, is reading this, then it's enough for me. I am full. And my purpose is fulfilled. And I shall sleep tonight with the happiest of dreams. 

And it hasn't been just Unnie. I mean, look below. 

I get support from the most surprising places. ^_^

And I absolutely love it. <3 (Especially this email.)

x'D Silverrose, if you're reading this. You are now Blogger famous. :) Thank you for your "encouraging" commentary and for all the little comments you leave like these. And alas, for being a great responder. ;) 

Haha, there's Dan too. I don't think this person is fine with my mentioning him. Alas, I still do. He made episode 2 possible through blunt encouragement. "Blog, Ngoc." Blunt is exactly what I needed in order to continue. Thanks for that. x'D

It's been a short journey of what... a week? since I made my decision of doing episodes of lessons I learned that day. And my god. This has been absolutely exhilarating. 3 episodes may not seem much, but it has definitely brightened each and every day for me. Since I'm constantly looking for material to write about, good material to write about that is, I... I'm more observant now of the good that can happen and amount in the world and how, there will always be something good to write about. What a world. What a freakishly amazing world. It's as if I've been blind my whole life and have just looked at the world through a new pair of lens. I love it. Knowing that I am no longer blind. No longer blind to the world's potential beauty. Excuse me as I jump around a bit from giddiness. (GOOD GODS, I SOUND LIKE AN ABSOLUTE HIGHISH PERSON. I'M SORRY. It's okay to avoid me entirely from now on.)

I love how random people chip in some encouragement and how just that is enough to get me going despite the exhaustion. I love it. Maybe, just maybe, this is what I'd like to do with my life. Not all of it mind you, but I can see myself 15 years from now, blogging my life away. :) 

And I now realize that no matter what you do, there will always be people that support you. And that, you're never truly alone in doing anything. Honey, you've got an invisible army behind you. Know that. And it's your choice to fight, not theirs. They'll stand there, spur you on, and add back up when you need it most, but at the end of the day, did you fight or not? Don't let your invisible army down, but most importantly, never ever ever ever ever let YOURSELF down. I don't think I stress this enough but you are the most important reason for fighting every battle. So choose your battles wisely. With that, I leave you my grasshoppers. 

*RUNS INTO BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

Your most thankful girl,

Ngoc

P.S. Okay... so as for updates. Some people think this is a daily thing, but I'm afraid to say that that is not possible. :( It just so happens I was not very busy today so I was able to write a consecutive post. But it will definitely be an every two to three day thing. (Check my Google Hangouts status every so often for updates if you're in my circles. -_-) Mwah! <3 ya!