I was starstruck.
Too bad I'm just as prepared.
"Shawn Mount. Marketing and relationship manager," I said, smiling.
Shawn looked back at me surprised, "Why, yes I am," shaking my hand firmly.
"Aaron Smith, 2 time President's club. AVP," I turned.
Aaron smiled, "Haha, yes I am," shaking my hand, "this one's different, guys." And the men laughed.
"Steve Warren. I'm actually unsure about this one," I laughed, shaking Steve's hand.
"Steve. No need. I'm just a lowly portfolio manager, ha," he said, also firmly shaking my hand.
"And Jason Hatcher. You must be the king of these three."
"That, I am," he agreed. Everyone laughed, a chuckle that sounded like money at the golf club.
The kind of laugh that I've made too many jokes about, here it is.
And I am dizzy.
From the 5:20 am drive here to the disorientation of actually remembering all their names and roles.
Why do I try so hard?
Yes, why, Ngoc?
The conversation went in and out and I felt it slowly blossom in my chest, this feeling that I've stood out. That I'm right, I usually am about my own preparation: "There can never be enough preparation. Just one more hour, scroll their LinkedIn's. Study SBA loans. Study the role. Something will come of it."
Despite my dizziness, I managed the entire day. 4 separate one-on-ones with each commercial banker. In one day. Huntington, West Virginia. My little car putting on miles.
Ne-Yo's "She Knows" played non-stop on loop for 2 hours. So that I can own every thought in my head for more than a second and not worry that the song that plays won't be one that I won't like.
The thing is, I've been excited about commercial banking for weeks now. They're the biggest bucks in a bank, bringing almost a billion dollars in new money per year. Just 30 bankers.
It's a sales role. I know. But these guys are all about the details.
I mentioned my family's business ONE time and they all remember it. "We have 6 chairs. It's just my mom and one other person. We're a hole in the wall but we focus on only doing what we do best. Our one-on-ones."
And all 4 of them remembered eveyr detail. In every 1-on-1, they each remembered the 6 chairs and that it was just my Mom and one other person. They each hypothesized correctly that if we were to open a new salon, it would be around the same size and that the PPP loan we took out in 2020 was only enough for rent and not much else... wasn't it?
"Yes," I replied each time. Surprised.
These guys are at a whole other level.
And in each one-on-one, I did my thing.
I didn't try to only show how much I already knew coming in.
I focused on having conversations that they'd remember for themselves too, showing my personality and how I deeply cared about the mechanics of their roles. Because I did.
From understanding their prospecting process, to the way they managed community relationships, to only providing services that a client actually needs, to understanding their work life balance, to the business meetings that could happen impromptu at any time.
A commercial banker is a forever advisor to the business itself.
At lunch, the 3 of the 4 walked with me to the business bankers Christmas party. I just went through there a month ago, and already, I saw so many familiar faces that couldn't wait to hug me.
As the king of business banking, Ken Short, introduced me to the Christmas gathering, asking, "Who in here has already met Ngoc?"
So many of them raised their hands smiling at me. I grinned back.
Shandele, Jason, Cassie, Logan (Subaru guy!), Michael, Muhammad, Darryl, and others. I went around hugging everyone, like a little celebrity.
Logan kept his gaze steady on me, eager to speak, but at every turn, there was always someone that I was in the middle of conversation with.
His smile grew when I finally turned to him. He asked, "So, your Subaru. Did you end up going to get that oil changed yet?"
"Oh my gosh, not yet! But thank you for that Subaru dealer recommendation. I'm going to go there hopefully very soon."
"They're good folks. There's nowhere else I'd take it in this area. Are the guys taking good care of you?"
"They are haha. They are," I said smiling.
Michael behind me, one of my first interviewers for my job now, stood up and said, "Ngoc, oh my gosh how are you liking it so far?"
I gave him a big hug. "Michael, my god I'm so well taken cared of. Seriously, and Columbus is just, Columbus is unspeakably awesome. I love it there?!"
Jason tapped me lightly, signalling that we had to go.
And so we left.
I felt so loved. I couldn't stop smiling. I didn't feel cold out in the 30 degree weather. I forgo-ed my jacket for our short walk to the next restaurant.
We headed to lunch with an attorney who was a COI, a center of influence, to us. She waited for us and quickly hugged everyone. And I knew instantly, she was a good bean.
And I'd have thought that a business meeting would be more business-y, but we ended up only talking about our hobbies, what we're reading, what their kids are up to, and all sorts. I introduced myself properly and pushed the unspoken agenda, that my company really takes great care of its employees. So much so, that there's a professional development program that I left home for.
Haha, here I am. :)
On the walk back to the office, each gentleman took their turn speaking with me. Politely. Towering above me, older, wiser, they all offered me different bits of advice. Showed me different reasons of how they got here.
I felt easy here too.
A young woman who once went to a traditionally all-women's college is now standing, however briefly, in an all-men's world. For a second. And they took good care of her. :)
I told my new friends, Ben and Bridget, this very thing about commercial banking.
"They're flashy. They're shiny. The moment they walk into any space, they can survey the entire restaurant and know exactly where they need to be. Who they need to speak to, how that conversation's going to start and where it should end up. All the while. All the while!! Having jokes, non-stop, to make someone laugh. They're not commercial bankers if they can't make someone laugh. And they do that all the damn time."
My last one-on-one was with Aaron. A graphic designer, sound engineer, a volunteer at the local drug recovery center, and here, at Pebo. I asked him for any feedback he might have for me, after our deep conversation about all things banking, but also about the Vietnam War, about basketball, and my family's nail salon.
He responded, "After my 8 years of this program, I have to say, and I was planning on telling Jason this as well, you have got to be the best PDA that's walked through commercial's doors. You're very intelligent. You ask all the right questions. You're thoughtful, very prepared. Already, you knew about all the different SBA loans. Doing your homework like that and also knowing who everybody is like this morning, I think if you want to be here one day, you will absolutely kill it. I'm very excited about where you're going to end up."
I wanted to hug Aaron. But we simply stood up, a firm handshake.
When a man shakes his hand firmly, unafraid of hurting yours, that's when you know, he sees you as an equal. That's how I know that that's a good man.
I rest my case.
Your girl, Ngoc, is doing shiny things. Learning about shiny things.
Prepared, packed, one suitcase light. A black dress.
Later, she'd head back to the hotel, only to head back out into the night. She remembered the bookstore that the others had passed without a second glance. She headed in exactly there, bundled up against the cold. She walked in empty-handed. 2 hours later, she walked out with more books than she could finish before June.
Smiling.
Gosh, I'm very proud of myself.
I try hard, I try hard all the time. And I get tired. I'm scared of burning too bright. I'm nervous about not being liked.
But how could I be nervous about that? If I'm so... I'm so good at being me?
And by being myself, my true self, I can create a lot of joy already.
And hopefully, I don't only focus on gratification from work, but god, does it feel DAMN GOOD when it's words of affirmation from work. FUCK.
fuck. :P
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As much as this adventure has felt like a real adventure, I really can't believe I'll be home in less than 5 hours.
Houston, agh. I really do love Houston.
I can't lie anymore. I hate Houston in the summer, like a simmering hell. That won't go away. But I love Houston in December. Our 60 degree weather. No mosquitoes. Just walks and sweetness and non-stop cuteness.
I miss having all the things to do on a weekend. I miss all the things that make me feel young.
Marietta is beautiful. I love my little walks as I put a playlist on. The leaves beneath me watch me dance and twirl and mis-step and trip. And I'd always feel safe, for the full mile back to my apartment, but...
Houston.
When I see that skyline as I land, I'd know where my heart is.
And loyal to.
So while I'm mildly dissociating and can't believe I'm where I am today, at least in the quiet of Marietta, I can focus on what my heart wants to make.
For all that I've worked for, maybe it's not important where my heart is.
One day, I'll tell someone that this was the chapter of the heart making what it needs to make, not about where the heart needs to be.
:)
