11.19.21.
12 AM. Three losing League games until we won. I was a tree and you were a swordsman. I threw my sapling bits that exploded on the enemy. You spun into the fray, brave and true, until they all descended on you. Hungry for kills.
1 AM. I told you about a lunar eclipse happening tonight, holding onto the edge of my chair and peering hard out our window. You asked if I'd want to go on the balcony to witness it for real. A place I've never been. "Let's pick a chair. Yours or mine?"
"We're going to smuggle a chair onto the balcony?" I asked, wide-eyed.
"Haha no. To reach the window!"
You grinned with homework heavy in hand.
That's how you show me you care.
So you carried my chair ahead, figured out how to pull down the window screen, as I pulled on pants and boots. We kept giggling as we struggled to fit through the window. My inner thighs hurt a lot. My boots were in the way. Your slipper was in the way. But we managed to see the other side. To witness the moon we were promised.
"Allison, we're on the wrong side to see it, aren't we?"
"We definitely aren't. Plus it's so cloudy tonight. How are we supposed to see the moon?" you pondered with your astrology knowledge.
Haha oop.
Astronomy.
Moon or not, it really didn't matter. The view before me was fresh. The air was chilly. My nose was chilly. My hands were getting cold but the glow of the campus center, the way my bike looked from above, tips of trees I never knew to be so tall suddenly realized, and not a star in the sky.
It was wet. A streak of thin white cloud in the dark ass sky.
"Is that the milky way?" I asked, truly not knowing. I was in that late-night sleepy daze where too many questions came to mind. And you never minded answering them.
Not without laughing out loud this time, "We're in the milky way, silly."
"Ah... hahahahaXD"
We laughed and talked about anything again. The tips of my boots began to feel cold and I wondered how cold wearing slippers only felt. I started walking back towards the window, thinking maybe it was cold enough to go in, but you were reluctant. No way did we go through all that trouble for just 10 minutes of balcony time. So we stayed for longer, happily chilling in the chill.
Then I spotted a scurrying creature by the side of the empty campus center. Pitter pattering on top of orange-yellow leaves and illuminated by the bright lights of the white building. Squeezing and stopping below the black steel benches. We kept on moving to get a better angle.
This was the first time in my life that I saw a skunk so clearly. The first time I saw a skunk that wasn't in Curious George.
It looked like a raccoon panda.
so FLUFFY. AND CUTE. AND SQUISHY.
I bet its cute paws would pat pat on me if I held it. TOE BEANS.
But its ass would make me a mess.
"We're going to need all the homemade marinara from Tyler to get that stink off us," I commented.
"Or ketchup and water for days," you added. I could feel your cheeky grin. I could feel my own cheeky grin. I COULD FEEL MY CHEEKS.
I've been smiling too much lately. But today, or tonight haha, I couldn't stop pointing and be awed.
By the deft way the skunk knew where to go. Up the concrete stairs instead of hedging through the grass. So quick and sure and human.
I wonder if this skunk could hear us tonight. Saying stupid shit like "woah, it's so cute."
Or "woah, it's ACTUALLY so cute."
I'm 21 years old. And I've finally seen a skunk.
Your city girl can't get more domesticated than this.
Am I even using domesticated correctly?
Tonight, I was awed by that simple, pretty feeling. Tonight was so pretty.
Pretty like the smiles on our faces. Pretty like all the laughter we couldn't stop holding back as we realized all our efforts were for naught, with no moon in sight. Pretty like the warmth in my belly as we witnessed this skunk doing skunky things.
I wasn't at all disappointed that I couldn't see the moon. I was with you, my awesome friend.
You and I eventually turned towards the window after a series of yawns. I went after you, your long legs reaching the chair long before mine could. Then, mine came after. I was unsure, unsteady, but you held the chair. I was just fine.
You have my back.
Last week, I teared up on the middle of the street, walking to a fancy dinner I was in no way well-dressed for. Thinking about things I wish I could turn back time on, but before I lingered on regret, you and Luna appeared before me in the dark.
I could tell it was you anyway. You could be walking a mile away but if I ever saw anyone that walked like you, "it's her" I'd say.
And it was you. That happy, jaunty walk. You're like the main character of a coming-of-age movie. The protagonist everyone roots for, because your positive energy is magnetic. Radiant. Warm. You make people ask if all comp sci majors walk like that.
You walked up to me and I greeted you both into a hug.
I was about to break down crying. Maybe I almost did and the glow of the streetlights reflected the truth of what I felt, maybe all the cars driving past us knew I was emitting sad girl vibes, but before I could tear up any more, you said, "Hey. Whenever you get back to our room, look out for a little something, because I got you something. :)"
That's one of the moments I knew.
That I'll remember most.
I'll be okay, because my friends are rooting for me. You're rooting for me.
You want to see me happy and well. :)
Whoever I'll become in the future, wherever I'll be, I'm probably going to cry.
A lot.
But being with you makes me smile.
Friends, I thank you for being my homemade marinara sauce. ^-^
Cuz sometimes life fucking stinks and I fucking suck.
Like.
Skunk.
And I'll need to smell nice things again.
