I actually wrote this episode in three separate sittings, feeling different variations of happiness at each sitting. I've divided this piece into "part." Each "part" represents a different sitting. :)
Part 1: Today marks roughly one month of my time in Massachusetts, pursuing that college degree and chasing my dreams.
But most importantly, I've done it. I may be a little premature in saying this, but a part of me is surprised at how fast I've found a new family away from family.
My birthday was proof of that. After a long day of orientation activities, a tired group of 10 college freshmen gathered together in a friend's living room, celebrating my birthday over half a showing of Monty Python Holy Grail and a crazy board game.
New things are happening. It's true what they say about college. "Making friends is easier."
Part 2: It's so true, it's unbelievable. As I'm writing this portion of the blog, I'm sitting in a beautiful, cozy room of one of my friends. Something Just Like This is playing from my phone. Sanya sits on the floor, prepped up cross-legged with math notes on her lap. Ivanna sits straight-backed at her desk, popping her arms to the songs. All of us are humming to Shape of You now. This feeling is absolutely comfortable. I feel so safe. I feel so... happy.
Part 3: I feel just as warm and happy as Part 2, just now, I'm sitting in my fairy-light-filled room. An A-Force poster and EXO Poster spill on my walls and a small collection of books from home fills half of my nightstand. I'm sitting on my standard Twin XL college bed, leaning against a wall. Behind me hangs pictures my mother handpicked from home to send me to remind me of childhood, of home.
These past few weeks of college have been the one of the happiest weeks of my life. Already my new friends have termed me the "most social" person they've ever met. I'm honestly kind of proud of that. Beyond this flex, my point is, I've never made so many GOOD friends in my life. High school feels like a puppy compared to Smith. I'm... I'm so lost and so attached to college life right now. It feels like flying.
What's filled my days with joy is spending time with people that enrich my life, people who understand where I'm coming from, and people who are as excited to spend time with me as I do with them.
Haha, I've never been this social in my life. However, these first few weeks have taught me how adaptable I am. It's as if all the trials, all the failures of my past have come to serve me now. Already, I've gone out with friends, taking a 50 minute bus JUST to eat authentic Pho from a Vietnamese-owned restaurant in Western Massachusetts. Okay, fine, that might not sound like much, but for someone who's life was controlled at every turn for the past 18 years, that was a big step.
College has been a big step, period.
I'm making my own plans, when to have them, and with whom. It's exciting to steer my own life for once and to feel complete control beneath my fingertips as I do something as simple as bike-rushing to my 10:50 classes. There's solace in knowing that Smith dining might unsurprisingly be terrible at the asian food-serving dining hall. There's solace in knowing that you have this one friend you've automatically assigned as your study buddy. There's solace in knowing that sure, your phone's battery sucks but there's still enough battery to get you through dinner in case your sister texts you.
What brings me great peace is knowing that if it all ever feels overwhelming, I have newfound friends that have my back. But the most peace is knowing that I have Yen to call, should I ever need anything as comforting as her adorable round face on the screen. :)
Honestly though? I don't really have "wild," "exciting" college stories to share, haha. So far the most exciting thing that's happened so far was the bus trip out to Amherst for pho. And just as exciting was the cultural fair where all the cultural clubs brought their foods. It was so fun to just go from cultural club to cultural club table collecting food. Gosh, I'm pretty hungry right now. I'm already excited for tomorrow's dinner. xD
God. No one told me this but college dining is BUFFET STYLE. OHMIGOD. I'm surprised I haven't already gained tons of weight. The only reason why I've actually aka "lost" weight is because I'm not drinking boba as often as I used to. My broke college friends would always shake their heads a slow, "noooooo" whenever I suggest a trip to downtown for boba. Haha, Allison would be downright honest with me and say, "You have an addiction that college could actually cure."
So far? That's held true.
Gosh, one of the most exciting things about college is making friends. Left and right, there are so many people to meet and have amazing conversations with. Every time I meet someone new, that's a whole universe I just opened for myself. Isn't that amazing? ^_^
And hey, I know. College isn't all about making friends and having fun! But it's definitely part of the process. These.. can be the best 4 years of my life. These can be the most resource-rich years of my life. I have to find that balance between handling my academic work and spending time with friends. O__O Hey. Every day, I'm getting a little closer to understanding what that might look for me. Another adventure. My god. College is just full of these little tasks and missions you have to overcome and then you have all these skills you have to work hard to earn just to get to fight the big boss. This time there's no big boss though.
For me, it seems as if college is just one way to level up. All the way until I die, I'll constantly be leveling up. Wisdom. Self-respect. Love. Family. Friends. Courage. Happiness. Leadership. Confidence. Even sense of style. So many things to look forward to. I feel... hopeful. I feel a little secure in knowing that I truly am... the captain of my ship. As cheesy as that sounds, that feels pretty perfect.
As always, I promise this isn't the last of me. :) There's so much more. So many moments I've yet to put under the microscope.
For now, everything feels a little perfect. *sigh*
Lastly, wherever you are, whoever you are, I challenge you to send someone you love an, "I love you. <3". They need to hear it. Being at college so far has taught me that even if you've lived with them for 18 years+, your family and friends will appreciate the daily, "I love you." Sure, I'm having the time of my life at Smith, but I'm doing my best to make sure that the people I love know they're still in my heart, everywhere I go.
I hope you'll let your loved ones know that you love them, in any way that you want. ^_^
Sending good vibes your way. :)
Your most happy and optimistic girlie,
Ngoc
P.s. A drastic change yes? From Episode 38? Haha, you're right... keeping myself busy so far has been the best thing to tackle homesickness, but also making sure I call home. Everyday. Somehow. Someway. :)
P.p.s. You all may never read this but.... I love you, Mom. I love you, Yen. I love you, Dad. My worlds.
