Dear Earth-sized organisms of this part of the galaxy,
I write to you today to express and give you guys a peek, just a peek into my life. The life of a teenage girl who is growing wings.
I was in the car to my bus stop and my Mom (the driver of said car) told me why my Dad was unusually in a bad mood that morning. I had had a sore throat that morning and he had made me fried (haha, thank you Luce for the typo 11.13.17) eggs which had given me a headache just thinking about them so I told him, "No thank you. I'm sick, Dad. Sorry!"
"Ngoc, do you know why he suddenly got angry at you this morning when you did nothing wrong to anger him?"
I nodded no and she looked on, driving. There was a silence. A few more beats. I looked at her. Waiting.
"Remember how he went to his friend's house yesterday afternoon? Well, he heard from this friend that he [my Dad's friend] has a friend that had two daughters who both became doctors. Their father had driven them to school like your own father is doing for you and your sister everyday. And guess what they did? They left him. They hadn't visited him ever since they graduated. And that was years and years ago."
By now, I knew what she was getting at.
"Ngoc. He thinks you'll leave him once you make something of yourself and forget him completely. Never visiting him like those two girls. And forget how he has driven you both to school everyday and the love he has for you. He really does love you, Ngoc, though he shows it differently than other fathers. He does."
At that point, we've arrived at my bus stop. I didn't move to leave. I looked at my Mom. It seemed that it was not only Dad's thoughts, but also her's too.
"Mom. Of course I'll leave you and Dad."
And I actually meant it. That I wanted to leave them. But then... I just, stopped and said instead, "Haven't you both helped me grow these wings so that I can fly? I'll fly, but I'll never, ever be so cold as to forget my own parents, never visiting them. I'll fly, but I'll return. I'll make sure of it."
This little mini-story here serves to tell you, the audience, of two types of love that I've learned of in my life being a teenager and all.
One type being a love that cages the person being loved. You love someone so much that you can't have them gone. You can't give them an opportunity to leave you, because if they do, you'll just have yourself. And so you cage this person. So they can't fly away. If they can't fly away, that means they can't leave you eh? Now this kind of love is, I won't say selfish, but done in a means where only you are the person who benefits. It's one-sided. It's unseeing and blind and cold.
The other type being a love that sets the other person free if they want to be. There are no chains. There is no cage. Just sky above, because why? You would rather their happiness than your own. You would rather their freedom than yours. And you would rather be miserable if they can live fulfilled, free, and flying. This love is one-sided, but in a different way. You don't just see yourself in this picture. You see them. You just see them. This love is brave. It's seeing and miserable and real and frightful.
At the same time, I'm also trying to carve out your appreciation for those closest to you.
I want you to ask this question. How do you love those around you? How do you want to be loved? And do you appreciate the love given to you enough?
Sincerely,
Thank you for tuning in. This was Ngoc Nguyen with not only a life update but also another lesson.
Your dearest of dears and free-flying birdie,
Ngoc
[If your opinions are differing from mine, big oof to you, but I am writing this to express my feelings so... this is what you get! Boom.]
